


A Feather On The Highway

by RozyHtaylor



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Lesbian Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 38,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8479516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RozyHtaylor/pseuds/RozyHtaylor
Summary: Laura is a writer, well known and doing quite well for herself. Carmilla is the daughter of a women known on TV as 'The Dean'. When they are set up to go on a date in order for Carmilla to try and tone down her BadAss reputation what could go wrong? 
Here it the human regular fan fiction no one wanted or asked for but I wrote anyway





	1. A flashback can make you do the craziest things

**Author's Note:**

> First Chapter. Hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think, I have pre wrote most of this but might change it depending on what people think so please let me know - R
> 
> Parts in italics show flashbacks

“It's been over a year Laura.”  
“I don't care. I am a writer, not some gay spokesperson” the blonde girl said avoiding making eye contact with her PA. The trouble was she knew there was a point to what the women was saying.   
“Look I am going to set up a date just so people see you haven’t died” the women spoke with fire and passion, but there was a soft, caring side to the voice that almost made Laura want to go along with the absurd plan.   
“Seriously why can’t I just be a young hip cool writer living in New York.”  
“Do you really need me to explain why your not hip or cool?” My PA said back to me. She did kind of have a point Laura thought to herself. Laura had successfully written two best sellers before her 25 birthday. She denied they were based around and true events but rumours had quickly been sparked that they explain the love, loss and heartbreak of not only her Mother walking out but also her first love in college. Her books spoke to readers and spoke to the heart. It showed the world another side to the average teenage journalism student and not tooting her own horn but they both made it onto the bestsellers lists, they had also given her a name and a platform. But Laura didn’t want a name and a platform she just wanted to sit in her own bedroom in her Dads house with headphones on listening to unheard of indie bands writing whatever trash wept through her fingertips. When the first book was released, Danny was on the scene. Danny gave Laura’s life chaos and competition yet something about Danny always felt safe to the innocent blonde girl. Something about Danny always made Laura feel loved and wanted even in the heat of the biggest arguments. But, the trouble with chaos is that chaos never ends well no matter how organised It may have seemed at the beginning.   
  
Much like Danny. Their relationship went up in chaos and gave Laura the motivation to write her second book that was released eight months previous to the conversation with her PA. But it had been over a year since Danny. Over a year since that one argument made Laura walk away, yet it felt like a lifetime ago. It kind of was. It had been s long time since the poor girl had genuinely laughed. It wasn’t that Danny was a horrible person, but she was toxic. The kind of toxic like alcohol. The type where you know its killings you but it's all nice to start with. It starts off fantastic until you end up curling up on the floor In tears. Looking back she realised that Danny had the exact same effect as Vodka. Good until it wasn’t anymore. The blonde writer had never spoke publicly about the breakup but Danny who was a semi-professional runner had thrown up some shade as the tabloids put it. That's where the 2nd book came from no matter how much Laura wanted to convince herself it didn’t.   
  
Laura couldn't help but zone out and remember Danny as much as she had spent the last year trying to forget the yelling still wouldn’t leave her mind, in the darkest hours thinking back to that argument made the usually happy girl never want to leave her room. Even though Danny was strong, she never argued with her fists but her words packed a powerful punch knocking Laura down time and time again. Carefully spoke, without drama, her words had a vibe of finality to them and no matter how hard Laura tried to forget them, nothing would get them permanently out of her mind.   
  
_"I come home and all you have done is lounge around in that horrible yellow dress doing nothing Laura!" At first, Laura was taken back by the person she loved but she was beginning to get used to not being greeted with a kiss like before but a rant, but a dig at what she did, a dig at what paid the bills. At first, Laura didn’t say anything. She had slowly turned into a shell when Danny yelled._  
 _"I am a good writer! I pay the bills while you run around a track day in day out." Laura spoke in fear but was glad she finally said something she had spent so many days not opening her mouth just trying to smile and writing her words down on papers. The trouble was Laura knew the truth. She knew what Danny was hiding she just didn’t have the guts to say it out loud. Laud had had a bag packed in her wardrobe for weeks, enough that she could go to Laf and Perry's and not have to return, at least not at first but the bag just sat there while she tried everything she could to ignore the toxic waste around her._  
 _"I'm going for a shower," Danny said like she always did after a late practice with Maya. Laura had never met this Maya girl, but she was always the reason that Danny came home late. Always. Danny tried to go over to Laura as she always did during a spat, she tried to hold Laura and kiss her on the forehead. That was all Danny needed to do, and Laura would be back under the spell of the ginger giant. Laura could never hide innocence and fear, not when she and Danny were alone, not when Danny was yelling. The trouble was everyone saw Danny as a soft giant. Laura's over protective father called Danny a 'good egg' he trusted Danny. Sherman Hollis trusted Danny to keep his daughter safe._  
 _"Don’t touch me!" Laura suddenly burst. Just a few words but they brought tears to Laura as she spoke. She never thought this would be the end but all of a sudden this wasn’t just another argument. She knew this was it. This was where she walked away._  
 _"Your kidding right?" Danny snapped, her voice had begun to shake as her Eyes met Laura for the last time._  
 _"No, Danny, I'm done. You cheated on me and expected me to be okay; you yell at me like I do nothing all day like I am hiding something when it's you. You’re the liar. I'm done" Words flew from her mouth that she never thought she'd even think, let alone say out loud. She knew instantly from the look in his eyes that they'd hit their mark. In that instant their relationship shattered into glassy shards. Nothing would ever be the same again. Laura turned away slowly walking to the bedroom, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes. Danny never denied cheating she didn’t do anything. She didn’t know how long Laura had known for or is Laura really knew at all; she just didn’t know._  
 _"Laura..." Danny gulped down a sob and tried to keep her composure as Laura returns from the bedroom with a bag and walks away._  
 _"You will regret this Laura. I am the best thing you ever had" Danny was yelling, but the tears were clear, her heart wasn’t breaking like Laura's though. Laura's was breaking into tiny little pieces; tears of regret were clouding her vision as much as she tried to push them away. She desperately wanted to turn back around but she couldn’t be that scared girl anymore._  
 _Danny wanted to erase her mistakes, start over fresh. She wanted Laura but that wasn’t going happen again. Danny had told herself she knew what she was doing. She had convinced herself that Laura would always be there and watching that person walk away broke Danny but not like it broke the writer._

_After she had written the book that totally wasn't about Danny but was subtext all about Danny and that mess she had to write a blurb, it was meant to sum up the story. To make the reader feel all the emotions that are inside the novel her publisher kept telling Laura as she stared blankly at the back of the 1st copy of her hardback book. On the train home staring out the window Laura saw the shadow of ginger hair stood up on the busy train. Laura had got on at the start, so a seat was safely hers. The ginger giant didn't notice the writer, but Laura saw her._   
_Danny avoided Laura's eye. The author was unsure on whether that was because Danny didn't see her off because Danny wanted to pretend that she didn't. Laura couldn't help but want to study her Ex's features and how they have changed in the 14 months since the last time she saw that very face. Laura couldn't help but wonder if when she looked away Danny would do the same._   
_She wondered if Danny noticed the 4 and a half inches she had cut off her hair. Laura internally started panic debating whether it would strike Danny that she wore more makeup now, and she pondered whether Danny would question why that would be. Laura couldn't help but think about her change in style; she had adapted since the day she walked away. Laura hoped she looked better now. She hoped that she looked stronger, happier and like independant women._   
_Holding back the tears she found the courage to look away. She looked down at the emptiness on the hardback book she scribbled down with a black fine liner on the back of the pure white cover 'Some people are going to come into your life and they’re going to make you really happy at first. But, slowly like a storm creeping in they’re going to make you feel bad about everything you feel, say, or do. You’ll never be right about anything and with those people you’ll never win. The only way to win is to step back, realise you’re better than their shit, that if they actually wanted you they’d still be there, that you don’t need their games, and move the f**k on. Once they lose their hold, they lose the game.'_

_She didn't cry as the words lay slanted and messy across the back of her book. Those few sentences did everything they were told to do. They showed emotion and loss and the real reason behind all the words on those 200 pages._

_Now when you go passed the book called ' The Lost Goodbyes By Laura Hollis' you are treated to a blurb written on her lap on a busy train. But, she is proud._  
  
Laura rolled her eyes before asking the question that she really wanted to know “fine. Who even is she?”   
SJ her PA looked at her in almost complete shock. Was Laura really agreeing to all this? Apparently so!  
“What! I need to stalk her a bit” Laura continued shrugging her shoulders casually trying to pretend that she was completely cool with the whole situation.  
“Carmella Karnstein” SJ replied bluntly. Trying to hide her excitement that Laura had even considered this whole date situation. The poor PA thought she was going to have to ask Laura at least a dozen times and even then give her some reason to go.   
“She’s the daughter of ‘The Dean'” she continued putting air quotations around the dean part. The Dean was an on screen judge. The Canadian equivalent of Judge Judy. The Dean was all she was known as, apparently her on-screen persona wasn’t on screen but just the women’s personality which if so made Laura feel very sorry for anyone that had to spend time around the women.   
“My dad isn’t going to like that” was all Laura could reply. She wasn’t sure what else to say. Having never heard of this Carmilla girl she didn’t have much to go on plus even if she did there was no way of her backing out of it now. No matter how many times she lied and told them she was ill, she knew that SJ would hold her to it. Most people knew of The Dean, her loud mouth and unique law decision. If Laura’s knowledge served her correctly then The Dean (or at least the TV judge she was thinking off) had a law degree and was well trained before becoming ‘The Dean’.   
“So next Tuesday. The steak place on West walk. 7 o’clock.” All Laura could do was roll her eyes. Of course, it had already been booked. It was the middle of November, and she wanted nothing more than to snuggle up in her bed and read whatever trash she could get her hands on but no she was really going to have to leave her apartment for something other than hot chocolate.


	2. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date Laura had not been looking forward too

“Laf, seriously she sounds like the date from hell!” the blonde girl said talking down the phone to one of her best friends from college. “Who is it again?” She heard Perry shout rather frantically in the background. “Carmilla karn something" Laf shouted back turning her face away from the phone so that her best friend did get the screaming. Laf and Perry were the most dysfunctional couple Laura had ever laid her eyes on yet something about them just kind of worked. They understood each other in ways that Laura never understood them. Perry was uptight and Laura reckoned she had OCD but Perry would have never to the doctor about it. She just liked to clean when stressed. And bake, and then clean up the baking stuff. It was sort of a very dysfunctional circle. Throughout their college years Perry’s cleaning ability meant Laura could focus on other the like learning... And Danny.  
“According to Google, she has been recently charged with drink driving and anti-social/threatening behaviour towards police officers. Three weeks ago she was kicked out of OMG nightclub for threatening a bartender” Laf spoke with all seriousness and barely took a breath in the title that she was reading from an outline article from US Weekly. Laura couldn’t help but roll her eyes as to what she had got herself into. She was basically going on a date with a criminal she thought to herself. Trying to rationalise that she was doing this because she was ‘famous’ and that she needed to keep her image. An imagine Laura was only pretending to care about. She couldn’t care less if her books sold ten copies or 10,000 copies but her PA was right, she needed to make a living and spending days in her sweats writing trash while eating take out was the kind of life Laura thought only existed in the movies. Laura loved her job, and if this date would help her with it, she knew she would just have to go and grit her teeth.  
“I still can’t believe you are doing this L” Laf paused for a moment debating whether to continue or not.  
“I can’t think of a way out of it!” Laura sighed staring at her blank computer screen trying to ignore the urge to watch Doctor who.  
“Why don’t me and Perry book a table in the restraint we can just watch from a distance if problems occur we can swoop in a save you “ Laf spoke but wasn’t even sure the idea It was, however, the best thing Laura had heard.  
“Laf that's brilliant” Laura burst. The excitement couldn’t be hidden in the blonde writer's voice; she finally had a backup plan and a way out if this Carmilla kid tried to kill her or blackmail her. 

Saying Laura wasn’t nervous would have been a big fat lie. She didn’t even have this Carmilla girls number. Laura’s worse fear could be realised – she could get stood up. @HeyCarmilla had followed Laura on Twitter on Monday evening, which at least gave Laura a few straight hours of stalking. She had learnt nothing apart from an ex that was around a few years ago called El. @HeyCarmilla posted nothing other than the occasional retweet of some rock metal band Laura had never heard off.  
Laf had booked a table for 6-45 so that Perry would have comfortably settled before Laura arrived. Much to Laura’s horror Laf had also suggested that she hang back 5 minutes and wait for Carmilla to arrive just in case she looks like chaos, then Perry or Laf could give her a warning text before the date had even begun.  
Laura sat in her car outside the restraint she could see Perry and Lad laughing together in a window seat nicely in view from Laura’s yellow mini cooper. The streetlights made the place look scarier than it was by day the place almost looked cheap even though their ‘low budget steak' could set you back 25 dollars. 

That's when she saw it, a girl with hair as black as the deepest part of someone’s soul all in leathers. A matt black bike that Laura assumed it was a Harley of some sort. Attractive was an understatement. Every inch of her clothes was black, but she didn’t look goth or emo she just looked good. Laura couldn’t think of any other way of describing the girl that was in front of her. The girl leant on her bike and lit a pre-rolled cigarette. ‘A smoker' Laura thought for herself. She could see her father rolling his eyes as she couldn't take her off the in leathers. 

Carmilla smoked fast. Barely letting the smoke ooze out her month before taking another drag. Staring into space Carmilla was trying to calm her nerves. She couldn't believe that her Mother was making her go on a date with some soppy heartfelt writer just to try and improve her image. She didn't want her image improved. In fact, Carmilla didn't want an image at all. She just wanted to live her life, travel and laugh. She did sing, the occasional bar. It was Be free and not have to worry about a leering camera for some gossip magazine Carmilla hadn't heard off. Watching the last breath of smoke leave Carmilla's mouth Laura was almost in ore. Was this really the girl that had agreed to meet her? Laura felt underdressed. In a white blouse that hub loosely off her shoulders and a pair of black jeans she had found in the bottom or her wardrobe before decreasing them with a hair drier. A trick she had learnt as a teenager as her father thought an Iron was dangerous and a hazard.  
Laura continued to sit into her car as she watched the girl she was now 100% sure was Carmilla lock up her bike and headed inside. Laf made eye contact with the car confirming who it was. With a deep breath she escaped from her car and walked towards the glass door off the steak place.  
The waiter at the front desk smiled sweetly as Laura awkwardly panicked about who the table was under, he knew she looked flustered and this wasn't the smooth, cool first impression the blonde was hoping to make. 

"Well don't you look like a Virgin Sacrifice," Carmilla said as Laura walked to the table. Carmilla stood up awkwardly to meet her new date. Virgin sacrifice was all could think off Carmilla thought to herself trying not to beet herself up over her major foot in mouth disease.  
"Um thank you" Laura replied trying to take it on the chin and pretending she understood the weird comment that was just made about her.  
"No problem cupcake" Carmilla replied regaining her confidence. The waiter gave Laura a menu, and she tried her best not to look really uncomfortable. 

To say it started well would be the biggest lie. It was uncomfortable; Laura scanned the menu for the vegetarian option while Carmilla had her heart set on barely cooked chunk of meat. Their difference became clear from the beginning. Small talk started off easy enough Laura ended up awkwardly laughing at her now very clear lack of human social skills and Carmilla’s general ‘I’m too cool for small talk’ attitude  
"Still can't believe we came here when your a veggie" Carmilla said, she couldn't help but smile as Laura pushed her green leaves around her plate.  
"Wasn't my idea, I was just told to turn up and make small talk" Laura smirked back.  
"I feel like this was my Mothers doing" Carmilla said fast almost forgetting that she had mentioned her mother. She had told herself not to, that it wasn't worth getting angry or worked out about everything.  
"Ah so this is the dean's place of chose," Laura said. She spoke so casually yet the words 'the dean' packed a powerful Punch into Carmilla’s gut. It hit her right where it hurts.  
"Yeah I think this whole this was to help 'my image' " Carmilla replied not really thinking what she was saying.  
"So spending your Tuesday night with a 20 something writer who had to do everything not to wear a yellow dress wasn't your idea... I would never have guessed!" To listen to it sounded harsh but the smile wiped across the writers face told a different story. Okay so it wasn’t going terribly but they didn’t have anything to talk about. Laura filled up her wine glass using that as a reason to talk. As the alcohol sunk into her blood, the words started flowing from Laura’s lips. 45 minutes of slightly normal conversation and off eye contact with Laf and Lola Perry across the room made Laura very away of what she was doing. Laura couldn’t help but use the wine as a placebo effect. She knew that she hadn’t drunk enough to be drunk but the confidence it gave her couldn’t be explained.  
Laf and Perry watched from a distance, they hadn't seen their friend laugh like she was in a long time. The conversation echoed around the room and it was almost blunt and harsh yet said with smiles and laughs. It was the kind of conversation that would make a good radio show. They spoke about how different they were and how they had both been dragged into this mess yet they both sat there. Neither of them looked rushed to leave.

As the meal started to draw to an end Laura’s confidence had peaked. Laura couldn’t help but fill every pause and breath with more chatter. It was all nerves and to trying to avoid any deep conversation. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Carmilla, but she didn’t know her what the girl in leathers attentions were, Laura didn’t want to over share and end up on the front page of the papers. If Carmilla so much as paused to take a bite of her steak Laura would start rambling off in a completely new almost random direction with the conversation much to Carmilla's amusement. Should Carmilla try and get a word in edgeways Laura couldn’t help but start nodding before it was clear which direction the conversation was even going. Carmilla refilled the wine glasses hoping that more alcohol would slow her date down a bit, calm her. No such luck. Laura carried on sipping her red wine. She knew what the booze would do. The red wines flowed down her throat and helped exaggerate her verbal diarrhoea.  
"You done talking cupcake?" Carmilla laughed as their waiter took their plates. Laura smiled sweetly a she gasped for air and finished her sentence.  
"Yes I think so" Laura replied gulping down the last bit of wine she had left in her glass. Knowing she could have any more wine in order to drive she placed her glass by her empty plate of salad. Smiling sweetly trying to remember that her date was just here to say she had come, trying to remind herself that Carmilla wasn’t here because she wanted a date. Laura used the last swig of her wine to remind herself why she was here. Laura wasn’t here watching the night get darker and watching her friends leave in laughter and a subtle thumbs up, she was here because she was no longer allowed to live her in hole of unfinished books and unpublished video diaries. She was sat laughing and rambling at in a random fancy eating establishment because a women she barely knew had more control over her own life then she did. Oh, how she wished she had found the beautiful women that sat in front of her in a bar where the pick up could be simple and easy. Where the date would be real and the sex would be coming.  
Oh, how sat in the light of the restaurant Laura wished that Carmilla wasn’t just there by force but was there because she wanted too. Not because the conversation was deep or meaningful, in fact, it was almost the complete opposite to that it was almost like a bickering old married couple… that was when Carmilla could get a word in.  
"I feel like you need my number cupcake," Carmilla said sweet enough, she was trying to be smooth. Both girls were thinking the same thing but neither of them had the guts to ask what was on both their minds. Neither one of them wanted to end up on the newspapers, both of them just wanted a simple quiet life with lazy days and books. Sat at that restaurant as the winter air filled their bodies they were so different but in reality, they couldn’t be more similar.  
With numbers exchanged they couldn’t help but feelings a sense of unspoken achievement. The bill arrived on the table before Laura could reach for her bag her 'date' had lifted the check off the little silver plate it was resting so peacefully one.  
"I'll get it. You only had a salad" Carmilla said. "Plus I did call you a virgin sacrifice, and from our rambling tonight I now know that isn’t the case” she smirked knowing that Laura couldn’t top that. It was the quickest smoothest yet cheekiest thing that Carm had managed to say all night. But in her defence, she had barely got a word into the conversation in the 3 hours they had been sat wasting time at the restaurant.

Carmilla would be lying if she said she had ever had a money problem. She never needed to check her bank balance and providing she did the things her mother asked her funding never got cut. A few times her mother had threatened to cut the money after police incidences but the idea of her daughter having to move back home and complaining all the time was enough of an excuse to keep the funding going into her daughter’s bank account. Plus, that meant Carmilla couldn’t say no when her Mother asked, or she knew she would end up homeless and broke. Neither of which would be a good look for a girl that wears very expensive leather pants. Laura, on the other hand, didn't have a never ending bank balance, she didn't struggle and loved her job, but it didn’t give her hundreds of thousands of dollars like they talk about in the movies, she always had enough to get by and live quite happily without rolling in change. Even if she had millions in her account both Laura and her Dad doubted that would chance her spending habits. She still rented a small 1-bedroom apartment in a part of town her Father says is a risk and a danger but so far it had been nothing but good for the writer who didn't really like people of the outside world. Press very rarely came to her flat as it would be unlikely that photographers would venture to that part of town. They wouldn't risk their own cars just for a photo worth a couple of quid. Well, at least that was the only way Laura could explain to her Dad why she was living where she was. Laura liked the rough around the edges of the place, it was dangerous yet felt safe. She had been brought up covered in bubble wrap and living here in the slightly doughy place made her feel like a rebellious teenager.

The clock had struck 11 before they realised not only were they alone in the place, but that the waiters were waiting patiently for them to leave, not that they weren't ready to leave themselves, but Carmilla did move slower to make them really appreciate their tip. Laura who used to wait tables did feel slightly bad for the poor guy who was waiting for them to leave, he looked like he was about to fall asleep just standing there.  
Going their separate ways, they parted with an awkward selfie for Laura's Instagram that was requested by her PA (she did kind of want to get a photo though) and a smile, knowing that they had swapped numbers even though they doubted they would ever exchange texts. It wasn’t that they didn’t get on just something about them clashed in a way Laura had never clashed with anyone before. It wasn’t a clash like they hated each other it was a fiery clash with passion, anger hate and love all rolled into their conversation.


	3. Late night pick up and one for the magazines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura had her evening set Doctor who and sleep but a phonecall may mean her date isn't over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter, let me know what you think. I feel like my chapters are too long so let me know - R

The clock struck midnight before she got around to uploaded in the photo of her and her 'date' the photo was sweet enough. Carmilla didn’t look obviously happy but we smiling sweetly and look at least half happy to be in the picture. She had her eyes nearly fully closed. Just showing her black eyeliner to the camera while Laura’s face was pushed into the side in order to show her followers just her good side! From the timing of the photo, it did look like Laura was kissing Carmilla’s side, with Carmilla’s hand resting on Laura’s hair. It was a photo that left a lot to the imagination, but I guess that’s what the people wanted. The lighting wasn’t great, and overall it looked like a 5-year-old had been let loose with a camera, but it was staying on her Instagram all the same. The caption 'Well don’t I look like a virgin Sacrifice' made Laura chuckle as she was typing it. The longer she spent looking at her outfit, the more she reckoned that she kind of did look like how she imagined a virgin Sacrifice. Whatever they were. The photo made them look really couple like and like they had known each other a lifetime. Looking back at the picture Laura wasn’t even 100% sure how they even got in that position but it was by far her favourite one of the 17 she made Carmilla pose for. She exchanged text with Laf before going to bed which she had decided it was well deserved. It was late and she had not watched a single doctor who episode in the evening – which for her was somewhat of an achievement or disaster depending on who you were. Sleeping to Laura always came like the falling of an axe, she tried to fight it to watch the Doctor and Donna Noble fighting a giant wasp but she knew it was coming. Just as she had shut her eyes for what she thought would be the final time that evening/ morning her phone started going. She wasn’t going to answer it but while opening one eye she saw who it was.  
"This better not be a later night booty call" She grunted as she flinched at the brightness of her phone while sitting up slowly.  
"I need a favor cupcake"

* * *

  
  
Laura couldn’t believe what she was doing. She had barely spent five hours with this kid yet there she stood. The blonde girl leant on the side of her mini outside the station. The moonlight gave her hair a yellowish glow and made the world around her special to look at.  
That's when she saw her girl again. Carmilla smiled. The smile was sweet enough. Laura wanted to yell at how reckless her new found friend was being but didn’t have e heart or the right. She barely knew Carmilla she had learnt more from social media than from the girl herself.  
Laura shut her eyes only for a second leaning against her cool car. The cold metal soaked through her black timberland jacket. The cold winter air made Laura feel alive. It made her feel real and truly there. It made Laura remember where she came from and how far she had come. The cold air couldn’t help r remind her of the says she used to spend with her Mom. Shutting her eyes and holding them shut. She didn’t want to cry outside a police station the early hours.  
  
“Cupcake” Carmilla's powerful yet calming voice woke Laura up from her trance. Laura didn’t want smile. She was meant to be pissed off, supposed to be mad that she was picking someone she barely knew up from the police station.  
“Seriously Carm,” Laura said turning her new friend's name into a nickname for the first time. It flowed easier and gave Carmilla almost a sweet sound.  
Carmilla didn’t respond. Not that she would ever admit it but she didn’t think Laura would show. Never did she think that a stranger forced together by management would pick her up from the police station before the sun had risen in the middle of winter.  
Before Carmilla could put together a sentence she saw it. The flash of a camera. She looked at Laura who seemed to notice it as well. Neither of them wanted to kick off. They were in a police station car park. No matter what they did, it wouldn't look good.  
"Carm you don't want this to go to press" Laura whispered now scared that the newspaper people could not only see them but hear them.  
  
"Let's give them something to think about cupcake", and with that Carmilla faced Laura, looking her in the eyes. Laura let Carmilla's hand touch her face. The metal warmth from the police cell was still being held in Carms hands and gave Laura almost a spark of heat, a spark of energy. Then there lips met. Just for a second nothing else matters. There hearts and minds synced up. Just for a second, Laura forgot that she was picking up the women from a police station. It felt magical like they were outside a code shop in Paris. In the kiss, there was laughter and awkwardness. It was their first kiss but it felt like their 1000th. It was safe. The flash of the camera went off, and Laura could help but smile while her lips were still planted on her new found friends. Laura's lips just brushed against Camilla's, just for the photos, but they didn’t brush innocently but like a tease but, hot fiery passionate and almost demanding. Carmilla wanted to pull away before she lost herself in the nearly strangers eyes but she couldn’t. Carmilla pushed back with just as much fire as she was receiving. Just for the photo though. Obviously. The kiss made Laura's world fall apart but helped Carmilla piece hers back together.  
  
“Well, that will give them something to talk about “ Laura whispered into Carmilla’s ear as she pulled away and had to face reality again. They were in a police station car park where someone she barely knew has asked her to be collected because she didn’t know who else to call Laura wasn’t even sure what Carmilla had done. She didn’t ask. she probably should have asked before planting her lips on the black haired girl's face. Not that it was evident that she minded.  
  
“Get in, “ Laura said sharply, changing the mood but still trying to act angry. Again Carmilla didn’t respond. Carmilla hadn't been home yet but she wasn’t as well dressed as when she met Laura, for the first time but her black leather pants didn’t fail to have the desired effect on Laura. They smiled like Laura’s hair in the winter moon.  
Laura just sat in the car. The silence wasn’t broken. Laura wanted to ask questions. She wanted to talk about the kiss. But maybe it meant nothing to Carmilla. Laura reckoned that it was a publicity stunt. No feelings involved.  
The trouble was Carmilla didn't have any words to describe how she felt. To express the love she felt to the writer she barely knew. They didn't love each other. Fuck that; they knew nothing about each other yet as the sat in silence in the police station car park there was no hate. No fear. All that echoed around the car was confusing slightly messed up love.  
“Please don’t tell me you killed anyone,” Laura said finally putting her keys into the ignition before pulling off the station. She tried not to look out her windows in case the photographer was still around. She didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire.  
“No don't worry Cupcake” Carmilla replied “I was just speeding down the freeway and I didn’t have my papers on me when thy pulled me over. I’m on a bike. Where do they expect me to keep them? Providing I bring my papers I can pick it up in the morning and just pay the fine.” She spoke calmly, and it almost made Laura laugh.

  
“And not that I don’t love having to get out of bed to pick you up but why me?”  
With that Carmilla shrugged. She wasn’t 100% why she told the police officer to call Laura. She needed someone that wouldn’t judge. That would just do it. She needed someone that wouldn’t go to the press about ‘Carmillas Latest stunt'. And, she most certainly needed someone that wouldn’t go to her mother! But, truthfully Carmilla just didn't want the night with her date to end. Okay, so picking her up from the police station wasn't a great end but at least it wasn't an awkward selfie.  
“I trust you or something I guess” Carmilla said quietly. Almost like she was ashamed that she had called on Laura. “My Mum is going to kill me” Carmilla said trying to change the subject away from the last 4 hours she had just spent in a small cell.  
“Well she have to get through me first “ Laura replied laughing at her own joke. Apparently Carmilla didn’t find it funny or see the joke aspect at all.  
“You have seen my mother right?. She would bite your sweet innocent head off before you had a chance to introduce yourself.”  
“Well I’m not going to have to introduce myself when she sees that photo” Laura couldn’t help but smirk at her quick wit, at that moment she didn't think of her Fathers reaction she was too caught up in the moment. Normally it would have taken her a couple of solid minutes to come back with a comment like that but apparently her brain works best at this time in the morning.  
“Take a left here,” Carmilla said hinting the direction to her home. Laura followed Camilla's clear abrupt driving instructions until they reach a large apartment block that made Laura’s building look like a back alley.

  
“I will pick you up at 10 to go and collect your bike,” Laura said just as Carmilla was about to in do her seatbelt.  
“what creampuff?”  
“Seriously, what is it with you and food-related nicknames"  
"Their sweet and your sweet. It does make sense cupcake" Carmilla smirked. Now knowing that the cupcake nickname was here to stay... that’s if Laura was. It was strange to think that they barley knew each other even the silence in the car was comfortable and almost made Carmilla feel safe. Something about Laura was different.  
"See you at 10" Laura repeated as Carmilla un-did her seat belt.  
"Why?"  
"You can hardly walk to get your bike, and if you dare tell you're going to get an uber I swear. Plus I have never seen the inside of a police station" Laura said laughing but being deadly serious about the uber. Every time something happened in one of those taxi things her Father would send her the link and it was enough to put Laura off it for life. She didn’t know why she didn’t want Carmilla to get one. She just cared about her new found friend thing. Carmilla didn’t respond just shut the car door and watched Laura drive away; she stood outside her apartment for a few moments. Carmilla couldn’t help but shiver in the cold November air as she continued to press the cigarette to her chapped lips, hugging the paper weapons she clicked the lighter to light and lit it. The flickering light splashed onto her nicotine stick that seemed to bring her comfort. She took a deep drag and exhaled the smoke into the ai, watching it disappear along with her emotions and fears. In the light from the apartment block she couldn’t help but stare down the cigarette and all its slightest deadliness. Even in the darkness the smoke still swirled upwards like a dancer, devolving all the air in its path.

  
Laura didn’t tell Carmilla that they were located about 30 minutes from each other. Otherwise, she knew that Carmilla would never let her pick her up. From the little she knew about her date she had a hunch that Carmilla wouldn't and doesn't take charity. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lets just saw Laura's very over protective Father isn't the biggest fan of his daughters life decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, just a heads up the bits tabbed in are text messages, I didn't know how else to put them so people knew what they were :) Please enjoy, comment good and bad stuff I read and reply to all - R

Laura pulled up at where she had dropped Carmilla off to find her stood there smoking the last of another cigarette. As soon as the girl in leather saw Laura she stomped it into the ground and walked to the car.  
"Thanks for this cupcake," Carmilla said as she got into Laura's car.  
"I have a spray in the back" Laura replied smiling sweetly while massively hinting that she didn’t want her car to stink of a tar factory. Carmilla turned to the back of Laura's mini where there was, in fact, a spray. So Carmilla was now going to smell of flowers and it wasn’t her ideal scent, but neither was walking to the police station so she did as she was told.  
"Better cupcake?"  
Laura didn’t have time to reply before she heard her phone going off, she recognised the ring tone. Her Dad. He never calls on a Wednesday. He is meant to call on a Monday and Thursday. Not Wednesday!  
"Just ignore it. I'm driving, I will phone him back in a bit" Laura said trying not to snap. She knew that she shouldn’t really ignore it. Ignoring her Dad was worse than ignoring the bank. Much like Laura banks her Father wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted.

  
"Is that the over protecting bear spray making Dad you were telling me about yesterday?" Carmilla said laughing at the 'Im a gummy bear' ringtone that made its way through the small car reminding her of days where she and her sister would sneak the TV when her Mother was at work.  
"Good guess" Laura smiled, smiling out the corner of her mouth while focusing on the road, trying not to focus that even this time in the morning the girl sat next to her in the car still looked irresistible. Stupid publicity stunt! Before the old flip phone even had a chance to go quiet her Dad was calling again. Before they had even made it onto the main road he had called four times.  
"Just answer it!" Carmilla snapped starting to get annoyed at the ring tone. It went off again. And again.  
"I cant I'm driving" Laura snapped reluctant to move her hands from the perfect position on the steering wheel.  
Then it went off again.

  
"Oh for frilly hell" Carmilla snapped, before picking up the flip phone from the dashboard and placing it to her ear.  
"Carm!" Laura yelped finally looking away from the road.  
"Laura's phone," Carmilla said in her sweet sarcastic tone which had gotten her into trouble in the past. Carmilla didn't think when she answered the phone but all she knew was the ringtone was now getting on her nerves.  
While Laura couldn’t hear the words, she could hear the loud, angry tone of her Dad. "Put him on speaker," Laura said watching out of the corner of her eye to make sure the person sat next to her was doing what she asked. Whatever she had done had defiantly affected her Father.  
"Laura Hollis" Her Father yelled again.  
"Hey Dad, I'm driving you okay? How have you been? Is everything all right?" Laura said trying to sound casual. Carmilla tried to hold in her laughter at Laura's phone voice. She sounded like she should work in a call centre.  
"Laura! I warned you about who you date. Then you end up at a police station at 2 AM" if Laura had food in her mouth at that moment it would have gone across the dashboard, Carmilla tried to bite her tongue as if she wasn’t there. While Carmilla was never one for understanding family relationships she had feeling her input wouldn’t be too helpful during this conversation.  
"What?"  
"First your phone tracker goes off and tells me your at a police station at two then I wake up to a notification of a photo of you and some criminal."  
"Hey! I'm not a criminal" Carmilla burst. She couldn’t hold it in any longer.  
"Carm" Laura hissed hoping her Father hadn't heard it.  
"For one why do you have a tracker on my phone?" Laura asked. She already knew it was in there, but she figured a quick change of subject wouldn’t go a miss during this awkward conversation.  
"Laura, you’re my baby girl." Her father spoke almost like he was pleading her answers.  
"I promise I will call you later. I really do have to go" Laura said as they were turning into the police station pick-up centre to get Carms bike.

  
"Laura, don’t you dare hang up!" At that point, Carmilla shut the lid of the flip phone. Laura glared with eyes that could kill.  
"Bad reception" Carmilla shrugged. Laura couldn’t help but laugh, she knew at that very second her Father would pull her the phone tracker, but for now, it solved the problem. Well paused the problem!  
"Have you got all your paperwork?"  
"Yes Mother, I have everything I need. Now you coming in to watch this profoundly tedious, time-consuming process or shall I just text you later?"  
"I coming in!" Laura replied, she actually had never seen the inside of a police station. Her Farther never went to one and she had never been stupid enough to end up needing to be collecting from one so this really was a new experience for her.  
  
"I'm here to sign the paperwork and pay the fine for my bike," Carmilla said to the women at the desk while Laura stood awkwardly behind her like a lost child. She couldn’t help but been taken back by everything, the world around her moved so fast she felt almost like a fly on the wall. What she would give to be fly on the wall at that place just for one day. She couldn’t help but get her phone out as Carmilla was talking and writing thoughts down in her notes, the words flew from her mind onto the phone like she couldn’t stop them even if she wanted it. Maybe she did need Carmilla's chaos to help her live. To help her see things she was too scared to see before. 24 hours ago she had never met this chick and now there she was sat in a police station after a nearly sleepless night. Carmilla was a stranger she had to tell herself, Carmilla just needed a good girl for her image. Laura had to admit she wasn’t sure what she got out of that date. So what, she left her apartment but who would want to read the book of someone who was seen kissing a known outcast ex-rebellious teenager outside a police station. That kiss had never felt less like something Laura would do in her life yet she did it. She kissed Carmilla. She wanted it! What did that make her?

  
"You can go cupcake. It looks like I might be a while." Carmilla replied sitting next to Laura on the chairs, Carmilla didn’t find this place scary anymore. Nore did she find it overly peaceful. It was just another place. Just another place that had stopped her with life. Carmilla knew she was in the wrong but she knew that she wouldn’t get in too much trouble $500 fine and 3 points on her license. She had only got 3 points previous as she had gotten rid of 3 due to attending a safe drivers course. It was a waste of a day but stopped her mother killing her slowly.  
"You sure?" Laura replied. Sensing that Carmilla didn’t really want the blonde to stick around any longer. Not wanting to over-step the line she stood up and went to leave.  
"I will walk you out, I'm going to be ages yet" Carmilla smiled.  
"Thanks Carm" Laura replied, she couldn’t work out why the girl was being so sweet.  
"No problem cupcake."  
  
Outside they parted ways as platonic friends, no kissing, no hugging Carmilla just waved sweetly enough as Laura left the carpark and Carmilla then went back inside to wait for the paperwork. Maybe it was just for the camera Laura thought to herself. She couldn’t help but feeling mugged off, taken advantage off. She liked kissing Carmilla and Carmilla just liked looking like she had turned a new page or something Laura thought to herself.  
  
When Laura got home, she avoided social media. She put her headphones in and started writing, she wrong about a lost girl in a world that kept moving on even though she wasn’t ready, it told a love story older than time itself of 2 people that didn’t work yet just clicked. Five chapters in she wasn’t sure where her day even went before she realised it the darkness had surrounded her apartment and the street lights blared through the window like a reminder that the poor girl had to eat and sleep. She grabbed a handful of cookies that Perry had brought over the other day and made a hot chocolate. It soon snapped her back to reality. With her headphones in she hadn't heard the vibrations of her phone, but when she walked back into her bedroom cookies and drink in hand she saw it mid-vibration. Dumping the cookies that weren't on a plate onto her bed she flipped her phone up.  
"YOU KISSED HER!" Laf burst before Laura even had a chance to read the caller ID  
"Laf..."  
"Laura you shouldn’t have kissed her, it’s the dean's daughter, what were you thinking? What is your Dad going to say!?" Laf spoke fast. Laura couldn’t work out if the person on the end of the phone was anger or excitement. Laura sensed a bit of both. "A police station!" Laura could hear Lola Perry shout from behind Laf. Knowing Perry, she was probably more considered about how unhygienic the whole situation was, and why Laura was outside a police station as oppose to the kiss its self. While Laf was differently more interested in the kiss. Laf always had this over protective nature about her, especially over Laura neither of them could explain it but Laf always protected Laura like their life depended on it. That’s why Laf never really liked Danny. At the start, Danny wanted to be Laura's protector, and everyone just let her.  
"Shit. I forgot to phone my Dad back. He's going to think she killed me!" Laura said sounding more worried than she really was. She was drained and just wanted to go to bed.  
"He's going to kill you Laura! I thought he was going to kill me when he called to ask me" Laf replied trying to subtly tell Laura that her Dad had most likely called everyone in new york trying to get answers.  
"Or attack Carm with bear spray!" Laura said for some reason she was really concerned with Camilla's safety as oppose to the fact her Father had felt the need to ring her best friend.  
"So she's Carm now?" Laf replied laughing.  
"Laf!"  
"I'm sorry, I will leave you to call your Dad but I mean it when I say I want the gossip."  
Laura rolled her eyes while deciding on the best way to reply "Send my love to Perry for me" Laura replied making it very clear she didn’t want to talk about it anymore.  
"Bye L"  
"Later Laf"  
She heard the silence down the end of the phone before turning to look at her phone. Her father Mr Sherman Hollis had called nine times since they had spoken this morning, he hadn't left a voice. Laura doubted he ever would. Voicemails were never his thing; he was always one to make sure that his daughter was safe and a voicemail would do that.

She had six texts, 3 of which were from Laf, one from her PA and two from Carmilla.

>   
>  LAF: Laura! You kissed her that’s a strange turn of events. Perry is concerned why you were outside a police stations.  
>  LAF: Also you Dad phoned, I told him you were busy. I think he's okay!  
>  LAF: Okay he's not okay, he phoned Perry. Call me!! 

Laura rolled her eyes and did bother responding to Laf she had just phoned them, so she felt like all their questions were sort of answers.

> SJ PA: A kiss. Great publicity stunt. Mrs K is pleased, not sure about the police station. Assume we are still on for our meeting tomorrow with the publishers? - S

Laura felt like she needed to reply to that one just didn’t know what to put after typing and retyping her message, which is quite a task on a flip up thing. She came up with.

> Laura: Yes still on for meeting, starting writing another book type thing so they should be pleased! See you at 11:30 – L

  
Laura and SJ always signed off like that. Laura wasn’t sure how it started but at least this way she always knew that it was really SJ. She and SJ didn’t really get along, but SJ was so much more than just a PA or whatever her current job title was, she dealt with the fan mail, the small talk with people Laura was too nervous to speak too. SJ had this amazing ability to make Laura look good. Laura had initially only given the girl the job because she is dating a guy called Kirsh whom Laura knew, and she knew they were going through a hard time with money so she offered it to her. Obviously, SJ was desperate so took it with open arms and looking back Laura is so glad she did, even if it was SJ's fault they were in this mess right now!  
Finally with a long deep breath so clicked on Carmilla's texts.

>   
>  Carm: Thanks for the rides today, I don’t know anyone who would pick me up at 2 then drop me off again. You really saved me xx  
>  Carm: Just got home my mother is happy we made the front page of star magazine and Us Weekly which apparently is a good thing. I don’t know. Maybe we could do it again sometimes, without the kiss for the camera? Xx

Without the kiss for the camera. What did that mean. Laura couldn’t help but let her mind wonder, did that mean that Carmilla didn’t want to kiss or that the camera didn’t need to be there. Maybe she meant both. Laura had no idea but she was trying her best not to read to much into it. Trying and failing but trying all the same.   
Considering she was a writer putting together a simple text seemed to take a lifetime.   
Carm ended up receiving the text 

>   
>  Cupcake: Glad you have stayed on your Mothers good side, I think I am so far from my Dads good side I can't even see it. We should totally do something again xx 

Laura banged her head again her phone as the stupid message said. Why did she have to bring up her father! She hadn't even spoke to him! He could be all right with it all. It could all be good!   
  
After she was sure, all the messages were sent she found her Fathers contact and pressed the green call button that her phone still had. It didn’t ring for very long. Her father had been waiting.  
"Laura Hollis," he said firmly   
"Hi," Laura replied trying to sound casual and not like her heart was beating out of her chest.  
"I think we need to talk about the type of friends your making."  
"Carmilla isn't a friend" Laura replied getting straight to the point.   
"I know I saw the photo. The whole of the world saw that picture. Laura..."  
"It's not what it looks like, the photo was taken at the wrong time. It looks worse than it is" Laura replied having not ever seen the photo she didn’t have a lot to go on.

  
Holding her phone against her ear, she grabbed her laptop off her desk and pulled it to her bed googling herself. She couldn't believe that she had resorted to googling herself. She was still in shock she had a Wikipedia page. A whole page about her. 'Don't get distracted Laura' she whispered to herself hoping her Father wouldn't hear it.   
"Very very bad," she said now talking to her Dad. The lighting on the photo was really good. It had been heavily edited and certainly didn't look like it was the early hours of the morning outside a police station. You only had to search her name and the news section of google came up   
"Writer Laura Hollis spotted kiss Known BadMan and Trouble Maker Carmilla Karnstein."   
"The Deans daughter secret love affair"  
"Laura Hollis released from prison picked up by the dean's daughter."   
"Writer ditched Olympic hopeful for criminal."  
The newspaper headlines kept going. Even an English magazine had down an article using the Instagram photo and the police one as ammo for the stories. The articles themselves didn't contain much words and what that did contain was rubbish.   
"Dad, they are just gossip magazines," Laura said as she continued to scroll. Her Father had said very little since answering the photo. Laura expecting him to out yelling and screaming. He expected himself to yell but he couldn't. 

  
"Sweetheart," her Dad said finally   
"Yes Dad."  
"Is she nice?" He paused for a moment hoping his daughter would reply but silence, so he continued "That photo, you can tell me what you want but to be honestly I don't want to know. I just want to know if she's nice" Sherman Hollis spoke with confidence yet his words were a lie. He hadn't stopped staring at the photo all day. He wanted too he had turned off his computer yet it just wouldn't leave. He didn't care that his daughter was gay. He didn't! People didn't believe him but that wasn't his problem. He just didn't know this girl, this girl that had made the front page of the papers with her tongue down his daughter's throat. That's what hurt. It hurt because he hadn't to see a photo of his daughter that no longer looked like his daughter. Well not of the little girl he imagined in his head.   
"Who Carmilla?" Laura asked trying to make sure she fully understood the question before speaking. She didn't want to put her foot in it any more than she already was doing.   
"Why didn't you tell me sweetheart. Its like all of a sudden she just appeared in your life" her father said. He was now clearly sounding hurt over the phone. Laura didn't have the heart to tell her old man that that was, in fact, their first date. Maybe second if picking her up from the station counted as a second date! 

  
"It's complicated Pa" was all she could murmur out.   
"That is not good enough Laura" He snapped.  
"We are not even together... Me and Carmilla I mean."  
"So what was that photo just some one night stand!" He dad was back to be over protecting and having no boundary's again  
"No Dad; me and Calm we haven't done it... You know it" Laura said hoping her father got the hint so she wouldn't have to explain her sex life any further.   
"Laura Hollis you're my baby girl" he almost pleaded. "I woke up to see this photo, of you and Karma."  
"Carmilla" Laura couldn't help but correct.  
"You and leather pants" he replied, " you were so..."  
"I've grown up Dad. I live alone in the big city, I write. I pay my bills. I know I shouldn't have kissed her in front of the camera man person but I did " Laura replied she hoped that it didn't sound as blunt as it did in her head. She didn't want to hurt her dad. For so many years it had just been her and her Father. No one else. They didn't need anyone else. Her dad never got remarried. Not that Laura word have cared, he just didn't want to. He was quite content with his darts club on a Tuesday night, fishing during the summer and going down the local and making small talk. He only needed Laura to be happy. Since she left he missed her like crazy but he got to see his daughter every morning when he walked past the bookshop.   
"I am not trying to make you worry Dad." 

  
Sherman Hollis paused for a moment almost as if he needed to find his words "When I saw that photo. All I could think about was what could have happened to you. I had to read stories of you in prisons and cells and in a fight. My Laura in a fight a proper fight not just one with your words like the kindergarten uprising of '99."  
"I don't want you to be so scared of me all the time" Laura replied.She didn’t want to tell her Father why she at the station. She doubted it would help in fact she was nearly 100% sure it would have situation's worse.   
"It's too late."

  
The silence shared between the father and daughter wasn't tense but wasn't happy. They both had something to say but they just couldn't. Laura barely knew what her head was saying but she knew her Dad wanted answers.   
"I'm going to bed Dad" Laura lied breaking the silence. She couldn’t do it anymore. Right at that moment years were streaming down her face, she didn't need to sleep she needed her father by her side but he was 100s of miles away in a small town wording about his daughter. He highly doubted he would get enough sleep tonight but he hoped that just for a while he could remember his daughter was an adult and not just his little girl anymore.   
"Love you Hunny," he said after another moment of silence. He had so much more he needed to say yet he couldn't say anything. He was worried. He was more than scared. But, words couldn’t tell his daughter to come home. To get out of New York. He couldn't find the words to tell Laura that she wasn't old enough for the big wide world because she thought she was. HE knew his daughter and he knew that she was smart yet looking at that photo he wasn't even sure of the girl he had raised.   
"You too Dad," she said in more of a whimper than a substantial sentence. Laura slowly flipped down the Lind of her phone and closed her eyes. She wasn't going to cry. There was nothing to cry over yet there she was tears rolling down her face. 

 


	5. Apparently I'm a murderer and you posted my bail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a coffee date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel like this chapter isn't that great so let me know. - R

The meeting wth her publicists went okay, the perky blonde girl tried to hide her fears and spoke about her new book with confidence. They seemed to like it. She made small talk with SJ. Mainly keeping the topic about Kirsh and his new job as a sports coach for a local high school. Keeping the conversation away from Carmilla was a hard task but after answering a few questions with simple yes nad no responses, Laura reckoned that SJ got the hint not to mention it too much.   
"It was all just for the camera" Laura replied to what felt like the 100th question about the previous events.  
"Well your very convincing" Sj smirked back at her, Laura knew that SJ was trying to keep it light but she also knew that SJ was fishing with the 1000s of magazines that had phoned her in the last 24 hours no wonder she wanted answers.   
"I am not going to comment anymore," Laurea said looking down at her phone, half hoping that the biker had text her. Nothing. No matter how many times she subtly checked her phone under the table. Nothing. No text, no missed calls. Nothing.   
  
Carmilla wasn’t busy; she had barely left her bedroom all day. She didn't think. She wasn’t really moving. Her body wasn’t meant to get up the time hat Laura had woken her to collect her bike, and it was taking her days to recover. Her mother had been on the phone. Three times. Carmilla didn’t have anything to say to the women that raised her but she replied just the same. She hated her mother but that was her lifeline, she didn’t have another way at the moment.  
She wanted to text Laura, but she didn’t know what to say. So napping seemed like the safest option, napping didn’t hurt anyone. Laura didn’t want to text Carmilla not after speaking her Dad, in all her Dads remembering things were clear. She knew where he stood. She knew that while she wanted to be an adult, she knew that she couldn’t hurt her dad.   
When Laura first came out to her Dad, he wasn’t angry or upset. He just wanted Laura to find a girl that gave her the world. Laura knew that Carmilla wouldn’t do that, she knew that Carmilla was just sick of her imagine and wanted a new start. A clean slate. Laura knew that that was the easiest way to do that.

They never exchanged texts that day; the text just didn’t come easy enough to them but when Laura woke up the next day she received a single text of Carmilla Karnstein.

> Carm: Apparently I'm a murderer and you posted my bail. Thanks cupcake :) xx 

The text couldn’t help but make Laura smile. Obviously another gossip magazine had decided that the story still needed to be spoken about and that was all they could come up with. While Laura had opened the text the second it got to her phone writing the reply that was the hard part, trying to be cool and hip in a couple of hundred characters was hard, writing this text was nearly as hard as when she had to tweet something important. 

> Cupcake: My pleasure ;) Why don't you meet me for breakfast to make it to me? Xx 

The text was short and sweet enough but had the right amount of sass that Laura was hoping for. The blonde girl would have never been that forward in person, but in her sweats behind her brick of a phone she felt confident.

>   
> Carm: I will pick you in an hour, address?

  
Laura smiled and panicked at the text she had just received an hour, so that was 10:40 she thought to herself, an hour. She had to shower and make it look like she was totally ready to leave the house. Wait! All of a sudden it hit her. Carmilla was going to pick up her. As far as she was aware Carmilla didn’t have a car. 'Oh, shit' Laura thought as hse imagined her Dads face if a photo of her on the back of the bike ended up on the news. If Camilla's riding didn’t kill her, she was certain her Dad would have.

>   
> Cupcake: apartment 4, 203 W 146th Street New York, NY 10039

  
Laura replied automatically putting her her whole address without thinking, that Carmilla now knew where she lived. She knew that she should have agreed to meet her by a local shop or something.

>   
> Carm: cheers sugar puff see you xx

Carmilla didn't have any idea of the way, but she didn’t dare say anything of she knew that Laura would jump at the chance to drive instead of getting on the back of the bike. Carmilla put her spare helmet and her old jacker in her backpack and set off following road signs and trying her best not to look like a tourist.

Laura got into the shower. Letting the water pour down, it dripped by her side as her mind faded into dullness, and everything became a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steam water calmed the nervous blonde girl; it took her mind off her Dad who was all she could think about. She was 23 years old yet the fear of still disappointing her Dad never wanted to leave her. As soon as it started to fade something would happen like that phone call and it would all come back again. Her mind swirled as she told herself she was standing under an everlasting waterfall. Safe and content.

At 10:30 Laura was ready, how she had done it she wasn’t quite sure. Questions swirled around her mind; she didn’t know what she needed. She was staring out the glass window that faced the world- well the road to the apartment when she heard Carmilla bike. She had heard the thing before she saw it. Laura wanted to run down stairs, but she played it cool waiting for the buzzer to go off, Laura's building was the only one in the area with a doorman, and it did make life very useful even if on the whole he was a lazy old man who didn’t even recognise the residence. Laura thought she was the only person that appreciated having a door man with a crappy memory. It meant no one really knew where she lived. Other than her closest friends, her Dad and now Carmilla.

Carmilla paused at the doorway of the building trying to work about what it was about the place that felt strange. It wasn’t a bad strange. It was just different to what she was used too. She lived in a building block on glass and penthouses this was a old fashioned looked black. There was glass along some of the corners, a few full-length windows but they didn’t cover the whole wall more just a section. It felt almost forgotten yet really lived in. Words couldn't quite describe it. All Carmilla could think was 'this is different'. Carmilla was surprised to see a door attendant and was almost unsure of what to say. She took off her helmet as she walked thought the door to try and make her seem less scary. She hoped she wasn’t recognised, while she didn’t know why she had a feeling that Laura lived around there for a reason and it going around the Carmilla was their probably wouldn’t have helped the situation.   
"I'm looking for Laura Hollis. Apartment 4" Carmilla said making the doorman look up from his desk where he sat quite contently. He wasn’t listening to music or watching TV, yet he sat there quite relaxed. So calling him a doorman maybe over sold what he did but he sat their all the same.   
"She didn’t mention a visitor" The man replied almost suspiciously  
"I'm just here to pick up her" Carmilla replied, trying to work out if the man really cared.   
"I will buzz her." 

Laura knew it was coming yet the buzzer went off like an annoyed rattlesnake. She didn’t answer the buzzer but just grabbed her wallet and left the apartment letting the door lock shut behind her.   
"Hey," Laura replied greeting Carmilla and the doorman In the lobby. Carmilla and the doorman were now death staring each other as the doorman wouldn’t let her up any further while Carmilla knew she was allowed to be here.   
"Cupcake" Carmilla replied.

  
"Shes for you?" The doorman asked, almost surprised that the girl in leather was really there for the timid writer in apartment 4  
"Yes Henry, she for me. In future just let her up" Laura said. She spoke to Henry in her professional voice which made Carmilla smile.   
"Ready to go?" Carmilla asked hoping that was a yes and Henry had quite a punchable face for an old man.  
Laura nodded and followed Carmilla out looking back to the doorman who was still in almost shock.   
Carmilla almost threw her backpack at Laura who took it right to the stomach almost knocking all the wind out of her lungs.   
"Put that on, don’t want you to die then you Dad will certainly kill me," Carmilla said smiling but she was being serious  
Laura got out the tatty black helmet and jacket out of the backpack before putting them on.   
"How do i look?" Laura asked.Noth the helmet and jacket were a bit big, but they would do the job if she fell off which she was hoping wouldn’t happen, or Carmilla was right Her Dad would go ape.

  
"Like a feather on a highway," Carmilla replied. Laura had no idea what she meant by that but she nodded all the same. Carmilla smiled at Laura pretending to understand "Sexy as hell but really out of place" Carmilla said making the quote understandable now. "For a writer i thought you would have got that," She said as she helped Laura get on the back.   
"Yeah so did I" Laura replied, realising that she wasn’t really paying attention but more internally panicking about getting on the back the the death trap Carmilla drove.  
"Don’t panic, I can drive" Carmilla said noticing Laura's hidden fear.   
"Okay," Laura replied, she didn’t know what else to say. It wasn’t that she didn’t belive Carmilla it was just that this wasn’t a car. It was a bike!   
"Hold me" Carmilla shouted as she let Laura wrap her arms tightly around her nearly strangling her stomach normally she would have told them to loosen up but this was Laura. The blonde writer that clearly didn’t get out much.

The fear as the bike swerved around cars, Laura felt fear in even bone in her body but yet for just a few moments she felt truly alive. Everything that is felt is enhanced. Her mind couldn’t focus on anything; she couldn’t move for fear she would fall. Carmilla made her feel safe but the wind around her, the loud taxis and the idiots who thought riding a bicycle was a safe thing to do. Lauras felt like she owns the world yet the world owned her. At that moment her brain really couldn’t think it was panicking but it felt free. She didn’t feel like a writer or even a human anymore she just left like a free spirt. For the 15 minutes she was on the back of Carmilla bike, she didn’t feel like a cog in society anymore. It was a feeling she hadn't felt for a long time. It was magical and something that she doubted she would ever be able to write down. A writer lost for words.

"Wow," Laura said as Carmilla pulled into a space Laura wasn’t even sure was a space. Carmilla got off the bike looking at smiling at Laura's facial expressions. Carmilla forgot what the novelty of riding a motorcycle was even. She was so used to it, but the rush never really left. The feeling of freedom that was wiped around the writer's face was always on Camilla's. It was that feeling that made her do the crazy things she did; it was that feeling of freedom that Carmilla lived her life by. And, she had to admit it was kind of strange seeing the look on someone else.   
" Assume that didn’t mentally scar you cupcake," Carmilla said taking her helmet off and helping Laura get off the bike. Laura took her helmet off the smile was still there.  
"My Dad would be spraying you with bear spray right now" Laura replied laughing to herself.  
"Good to note cupcake," Carmilla said laughing at the fact all Laura could think about after speeding down the road was her Father.   
Simons coffee shop was printed in black and white on the front of the coffee shop.  
"Please tell me we are going to Simons," Laura said changing the subject completely after seeing the place that serves the best hot chocolate right in front of her.   
"Of course" Carmilla replied, she had to admit that she had never been here before but remembered the name when stalking Lauras Instagram so figured it was a safe-ish bet.

As a hot chocolate, a black coffee, a vegetarian breakfast and a full English are ordered the pain sit almost in silence. Carmilla couldn’t help but notice a couple of people around the café holding cellphones subtly in their direction. Not saying anything had always been Camilla's defence mechanism.

As the drinks arrived Laura couldn’t help but smile, unlike Carmilla she hadn't noticed the people around her. She never normally did. People knew of her name much like they did radio presenters but they didn’t always put a face to that name, not like Carmilla was used too. Laura had been stopped before, but no one subtly took a picture of her, if someone wanted to speak to her they would. Laura's hot chocolate was the reason she functioned its dark rich and coated her tongue thickly before flowing down her throat. The top was swirled with milk foam and spotted with cocoa powder the kind that adds nothing to the taste but makes the cup very pretty on social media. It made their table smell like how she imagined Charlie's chocolate factory as a kid; she was torn between wanting to savour it and inhale it. For some short moments Laura couldn’t help but wrap her hands around the black ceramic mug, letting the warmth flow through her fingers, banishing the wintry chill that the bike ride gave her.

  
"If we had an argument right now, there would be four people that had it on film," Carmilla said sipping her coffee as it woke her up. The coffee was over priced but the fact it was making Laura smile made Carmilla not think about it too much. It was just breakfast. Oh, how the media loved it not that either of the girls knew that yet.   
"Really?" Laura asked not sure if the girl that she was now pretty sure lived in leather pants replied.   
"Uh huh" Carmilla replied trying to subtly nod her head in the directions of the smartphones around her.   
"So this is what it feels like for people to want to know your business like you’re an animal at the zoo" Laura replied. If she weren't drinking the best chocolate ever, she would have probably cared more but at that moment the hot drink was calming her being and making her forget things that would generally make her want to run back to her apartment and never leave.   
"Something like that" Carmilla replied smiling like a starving puppy when their food arrived. It was good she would give Laura that, okay so slightly over priced but it was new york even in this 'up and coming part' it was still New York City after all.

After Carmilla and Laura both had got over the fact that before they would even leave their photo would be over social media they ended up having a good time. They laughed and while their conversation was still small talk Carmilla couldn’t help but enjoy all the little facts she was learning about her new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading


	6. A Month

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skips ahead about a month as you can see from the title. 
> 
> Danny is on Laura's mind and Carmilla doesn't really know how to cope

Laura couldn’t help but have a bad head day. She was trying to stay positive, but it only took 2 minutes on her Facebook for her mood to drop. She had tried for the rest of the day to dehumanise herself. To just got back to being a writer and a stay at home hot chocolate lover yet it had been a month and that no longer felt like her. Not that she was complaining. Laura couldn’t believe it had only been a month since that date in the steak place. Carmilla and Laura had seen each other a hell of a lot since then, nearly every day to be honest. They didn’t always go out; they spent so much time in Laura's apartment. Laura didn’t like the cameras that followed Carmilla like a bad smell all the time and even though Carmilla would never admit it Laura's place had more of a homely feel to it than hers did. The writer's block seemed to hit Laura most this time of year but sometimes in strange hours of the air when the Christmassy air could be felt all over the words just flew from her mind like a song from the radio.   
  
With a knock on the door, Laura was broken from her trance of crappy reruns on the TV, it had taken her most the day to venture out of her bedroom, and she hadn't yet made it out of her sweats. She didn’t have anyone invited over. But, she knew who it would be. The one person that could always make her feel better. Laura slowly moved off the couch trying not to seem excited trying not to hope it was the person she wanted when it was probably just the neighbours.   
"I think the cameras are going to catch on that you live here cupcake. Either that or they think I am doing drugs" Carmilla said, no hello. They never seemed to do that anymore. Carmilla thought it was an unnecessary use of words. Carmilla smiled, pizzas in one hand and a hot chocolate for Laura in the other. Carmilla didn’t know what was wrong with her friend but she knew that something was up every time she received a text that went

Cupcake: Don’t disturb me today. Having a productive day...

She knew something wasn’t quite right. Laura was never productive, not planned productive at least. A productive day meant something was up and she was 'productively' going to watch Doctor who and eat her own weight in cheap cookies.   
"I don’t think they care enough" Laura replied laughing. She wasn’t sure if that was true or not but if she thought about it too much Laura knew that she would go all PAPA HOLLIS and escape without warning in the middle of the night without a trace to somewhere new, making sure she wasn’t followed. Her father had made her watch enough escape videos. She was sure she could do it, if she needed too.

  
"I'm joking cupcake," Carmilla said noticing the panic that swept across her friend's face. Carmilla kissed Laura's cheek letting her cold mouth touch Laura's warmth, they both smiled sweetly at each other. Well as sweet at Carmilla every really got. Carmilla handed the hot chocolate to the blonde girl who had her hair up in a messy bun and was wearing her dark blue Tardis pyjamas and an oversized white t-shirt. Carmilla took one look at the girl's outfit and knew her hunch was right. Productive my ass she thought to herself as she made herself at home in the apartment.   
"From Simons!" Laura couldn't help but exclaim excitedly like a small child in a sweet shop.   
"I know what you like. You make us change complete routes just to pass that place. I picked up the pizza from Marcos down the street." Carmilla said putting the two pizzas on Laura's dark red fake wooden dining room table.   
"Sounds like your naming a boyband" Laura couldn’t help but comment.   
"I can take them back if you want" Carmilla smirked knowing she had one that battle and it had shut up a very excited Laura. Laura was smiling but it was a different type of smile to normal.   
"Okay sorry" Laura replied kissing Carmilla on the cheek. Carmilla had now made herself comfortable on the sofa while Laura had sat cross-legged on the dining room chair in front of her.   
  
"How was your 'do not disturb me, productive day'? Carmilla asked sarcastically quoting Laura's text message while opening the pizza boxes and taking a slice. The smell of dough and warm bread floated around the apartment the smell entering ever crevice and crack in the wall.   
"I never said do not disturb me!" Laura replied, trying to make the fact that all her day had involved was reading over a previous chapter and stalking Danny on social media.   
"Do I need to quote your text?" Carmilla replied knowing that she had one another battle of the evening. She didn’t realise that was the tip of the iceberg. With pride Carmilla took her pizza box and placed in on her lap.   
  
Laura paused and sighed silently for a moment before continuing "Did you know Danny has a trial for some big sports company, it could lead her to the Olympics?" Laid tried to speak casually avoiding all eye contact with Carmilla and focusing entirely and fully on the pizza in front of her. Carmilla only needed to hear the words Danny and she knew what that meant.   
"Laura! You didn’t!" Carmilla screamed with what could only be described as a jealous rage not that she would ever admit it or that Laura would ever catch on.   
"I couldn’t help it" The blonde replied now clearing looking the other way from Carmilla.   
"I knew something was up" Carmilla said, her voice wasn’t angry anymore. She couldn’t describe her feelings at that moment, all she cared about was Laura's heart. Carmilla didn’t understand why after all this time why Laura was still letting Danny control her. Carmilla had never met Danny but she was sure that if she ever laid eyes on the ginger bitch she would be arrested of GBH. Carmilla knew she would happily do 20 years in prison if she could just lay one punch on the giant! The worrying part was Laura knew that was true.   
"Come here," Carmilla said putting her pizza box on the floor and pulling Laura over to the sofa and letting the now obviously sad girl place her head on the leather pants. Carmilla stroked her hair, calming Laura down with every brush.   
  
"Hey, look. If she does go to the Olympics or whatever other events sporty people do. We will go and be the ultimate power couple. Then no one will care about the ginger giant" Carmilla said staring into the darkness stilling putting her hand through Laura's hair.   
"Thanks Carm" Laura replied. Carmilla was at least hoping she could have gotten a kiss for that supportive comment. She had called them a couple yet nothing well nothing that Carmilla could say. Laura just replied like she hadn't noticed but inside Laura's mind fireworks were exploding, houses were on fire and nothing made sense, but she didn’t want overstep her mark. She didn’t know if Carmilla had meant what she said. Laura couldn’t help but hope that Carmilla knew what she saying. Neither of them knew where or what they were or what the mark even looked like for Laura to overstep.   
  
They spent the night in silence. Letting their pizza go cold on the side, the smell slowly left the apartment, not that Carmilla really minded. She only brought them over as an excuse to see Laura, to check she was okay without just turning up empty handed. Not that Carmilla understood her own feelings at that point, she didn’t understand her own feelings while she ordered the pizzas or while she stood in line for 20 minutes just to pick up a hot chocolate but she just did it. Carmilla hadn't understood any of her thoughts in the last month. She had just tried to live but she couldn’t help but let Laura fill her thoughts.   
  
Laura woke up hearing the sound of Carmilla breathing heavily. Laura couldn’t believe they had fallen asleep on the sofa. Not like this. Laura couldn't remember the last time she had fallen asleep on the sofa never mind on top of someone. Laura didn’t move for a moment for fear that she would wake up her sleeping friend. She had no idea what the time even was but every part of her body was cold. The longer Laura tried to stay still the colder she became. There was now no way she wasn’t obviously shivering. The still tired and now cold girl didn’t know how to handle this whole situation. After what felt like a lifetime but in reality was barely a few icy minutes she had to move. Slowly she stretched her legs trying to slyly role away. Silence had never been Laura's strong point. Now more than ever. While trying to let Carmilla asleep... Bang.. The side of her went into the coffee table.   
"Holy Hogwarts" Laura whispered in pain.   
"Cupcake" Carmilla whispered slowly waking her from her power nap. She opened her eyes and stretched slowly.   
"We fell asleep on the sofa" Laura whispered. Her eyes tried to find Carmilla in the darkness. The only light came from the windows that faced the road outside the apartment.   
"I better make a move," Carmilla said sitting up slowly looking around as if she was trying to find her bearings.   
"No way are you going to ride home on your deathtrap this time of night," Laura said waking up at the shock that Carmilla was even considering riding home.

  
"I don’t think I can sleep out here; I will freeze. Plus, I can't sleep any longer in these leather pants; I think I am stuck to your bleeding sofa" Carmilla said trying to justify why she couldn’t stay.   
"I have one of my dad's old football shirts you can sleep in."   
"Fine." Carmilla huffed knowing she wouldn’t be leaving this apartment tonight. She didn’t want to overstay her welcome. "At least get me a blanket then. Otherwise, I will freeze" Carmilla shouted as Laura had walked off to find a t-shirt.   
"You will freeze out here. I still haven't mastered the heating" Laura said trying to brush over the fact she had lived in that apartment for nearly three years yet the working off her heating system was still a very confusing concept for her.   
"I'm a big girl cupcake."   
"I'm being serious Carm" Laura replied trying to use her serious, I'm kind of pissed off its too early in the morning voice, " I have a king sized bed" Laura then decided to state without being suggestive. She was just being nice. After all, Carmilla had done this was the least she could do right?   
'Just a friend' Laura continued to tell herself, time and time again. She wasn’t very convincing but it was giving her a vague peace of mind.   
  
Carmilla was trying not to be taken back by what Laura had said, trying to look Carm. The irony that Carm was trying to look Calm would have made Laura smile if she had any idea what was going on in Carmilla's head.   
"Sure, what side do you have?" Carmilla asked, trying to move on quickly and not dwell no the subject.   
"Normally, I just starfish in the middle" Laura couldn’t help but reply. "I'm joking," She said, totally not very convincing. She wasn’t joking.   
"Oh joy!" Carmilla replied trying to work out how to handle the changing situation. While they spent so much time together they were still pretty new to the whole friendship thing.   
"As much as I love this conversation I am about to fall asleep standing up" Laura replied. She was so tired so that wasn’t a lie. Plus she was freezing.   
"Okay I will only be a minute" Carmilla replied taking her top off and trying to avoid eye contact. Carmilla had never been body conscious and she was cold, so time was of the essence. Laura didn’t reply just walking away letting her friend fishing getting changed.   
  
Carmilla made her way into the bedroom. Laura's bedroom. Friends shared bed, right? Course they did Carmilla told herself.   
"Well don’t you just look the height of fashion" Laura smirked as her father's bright red vintage t-shirt hung from Carmilla. It was too big and made Carmilla look rather like a pencil yet something about it made Carmilla look almost sexy.   
"I left my stuff on the sofa" Carmilla said pretending she hadn't heard Laura's comment.   
"I will be out your hair before the ginger twins arrive tomorrow," Carmilla said getting into the side of Laura's bed. Laura wasn’t kidding when she said it was comfortable Carmilla thought to herself.   
The sheets smelt like Laura, the flowery scent that always radiated off her.   
  
"Night Carm" Laura replied before shutting her eyes.   
"Night Cupcake" Carmilla replied she lay there dead still as Laura tossed and turned trying to let sleep take over trying not to think of the very attractive girl that lay wearing very little next to her. Carmilla tried not to sigh as Laura moved for the 1000th time in the short while they had lay there. Laura moved one final time, and Carmilla had had enough she wrapped her arms around Laura's shoulder and pulled her closer. Laura didn’t open her eyes but moved smoothly just letting Carmilla slide her into the warmth of her body. Despite the heaviness of having a human lead against her Carmilla couldn’t help but let butterflies flutter in her stomach. Laura sunk into Carmilla's warmth. Carmilla started stroking Laura's hair. Laura knew that made her feel safe that’s why Carmilla did it. While their breathing synchronised, she tried to avoid thinking about Danny.   
  
Carmilla kissed the top of Laura's forehead thinking that the women were asleep. Much to Carmilla's surprise Laura's moved up releasing herself from Carmilla's grip and turning to face the girl in the darkness.   
"Night Carm" Laura repeated. Looking at what she opened was Carmilla's eyes. Carmilla smiled before grabbing Laura's face cupping it using her warm hands not knowing if this was going to know smoothly or if she would regret it majorly. She kissed her and the world fell away. They had kissed since the photo but Carmilla hoped this was different. The kiss was slow and soft, comforting in ways Carmilla knew she could never use her words to be. Her hand rested below Laura's ear, her thumb caressing Laura's cheek as their breaths mingled. Laura ran her fingers down Carmilla's spine, pulling them closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of Carmilla heart against her chest. For a moment Laura forgot about Danny she just left her thoughts behind her and tried to focus on nothing letting sleep take over, letting the darkness caress her being until she was asleep while Carmilla held her yet again. In Carmilla's arms Laura felt safe, like Carmilla was a blocker of thoughts, like she was a creator of new memories but help Laura forget about the old ones.   



	7. The Next Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Lola Perry and Laf meet Carmilla.
> 
> Just a short chapter while I edit the next one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> I have a chapter written out that isn't a PG 13 if you get what I mean, i need opinions on weather i should post it in this story or do it as a one-shot. Let me know :) - R

It was midmorning before either of them woke Laura had woken a few times in the night but didn't move, she was comfortable and safe. She felt happy, so she didn't want move. She didn't feel the need to roll over back to the emptiness that was the other side of her bed. It was a strange feeling well to Laura; Carmilla didn't really think about it. She was comfortable, and Laura just happened to belay on her. While it never occurred to Carmilla that most people normally got up before 2 in the afternoon, Laura was used to getting up at a decent time. She had stuff to do. Okay so all her plans for today were Laf and Perry but still that took planning, she had to do a sort to clean so that Perry didn't go ape as soon as she arrived.

The trouble was even when they both were aware neither of them moved, just lay there. Laura needed to shower and get ready for the day, but it felt like she was being held in her bed by lead weights. In reality, she just didn't want to leave Carmilla.  
"Hey L, it's us," Laf said chasing  
"Have your friends never heard off knocking?" Carmilla said. Laura shot up like the words had struck a nerve, she knew what her friends did next so without thinking she got out of bed letting the cold winter air hit her still warm body. Carmilla got up slightly slower and with a lot less panic before following Laura. Laura bolted out the room like the bed she was previously way in was on fire. Carmilla again walked slower behind the girl. She wasn't sure what made her follow Laura, but she did it all the same. In Carmilla's defence, she was still in a bit of personal shock that she had spent the night lay next to a very hot girl and all that had happened was one simple kiss Carmilla obviously wished that wasn't the only thing that happened but she knew that it was properly for the best.

Laura stopped dead n her tracks, her friends had barely made it through her door, but she was now in panic mode. She wasn't sure why but it hit her like a ton of bricks.   
"Carmilla this is Laf and Perry" Laura burst as all 4 of them stood in almost shock. The poor now slightly distressed girl paused for a moment letting the people around her make award eye contact as Carmilla stood their in one of Lauras Dads old t-shirts "Laf and Perry this is Carmilla."   
"They and them please," Laf said putting their hand out for Carmilla to shake, Carmilla did not really sure why she needed to shake the short haired gingers hand but feeling like she should she did.   
"Laf" Carmilla said while they were shaking hands. Laura had mentioned her best friends pronouns before and Carmilla knew that she would try to get them right, she knew what it was like not to fit into a box so even if she barely knew this kid she knew that Laf deserved respect or at least vague understanding.  
"I'm Lola Perry," Perry said not feeling the need to shake Carmilla's hand. Seeing someone she didn't know at all wearing very little made Perry kinda (very) uncomfortable.

"I am going to get changed," Carmilla said sensing the awkwardness. She started to take the t-shirt off as she grabbed her clothes off the sofa. As Carmilla turned her back, Laf eyes opened wide in the what the hell is she doing here kind of way. Laura shook her head to stop laf from saying anything too loud just like Laura did of very often.   
"Laura," Laf said when she thought that Carmilla was out of earshot.   
"What? She brought over pizza" Laura said. Shrugging her shoulders trying to pretend that she wasn't finding thus whole situation very socially awkward.   
"So you slept with her" Laf burst again probably slightly too loud.   
"Cupcake, you seen my underwear" Carmilla shouted from the other room, she was enjoying herself too much. she could hear what Laf was saying and she was going to enjoy herself. Even if it was at Laura's expense.   
"Got them" Carmilla shouted not even 30 seconds later. She couldn't help but smile to herself as Carmilla knew Laura would be rolling her eyes  
"She's kidding," Laura said, she was telling the truth yet something about it seemed like she was lying. "And no I did not sleep with her" Laura hissed trying desperately to stop Carmilla hearing any of this conversation.

"Right I'm off cupcake I will leave you nerds to your day," Carmilla said as she took a can off grape soda out of the fridge and Grabbed one of Laura's cookies off the side. Carmilla couldn't help but act as if the gingers weren't there; it was just how she did things. Carmilla smiled a sarcastic smile to the people that were watching her with amazement. Laura hadn't really noticed how Carmilla, while this was the first time she had ever crashed the night, was really rather comfortable in Laura's apartment. She knew where everything was, showered here way too often. Laura was even sure that Carmilla had a hoodie stored in her wardrobe. And her old bike helmet and coat but Laura had pretty much claimed them. For now at least.

"Bye Carm" Laura replied   
"Nice to meet you gingers" Carmilla replied nodding her head and she finished the cookie and headed out the door.   
"You too," Laf said. Perry simply didn't respond. She was in a state of semi-shock. Well a lot of shock.

As the door closed behind Carmilla, she just stood there. Was that smooth? Did she come off like a total asshole? She was trying to pretend that she was still too cool to care. She had barely known this girl a month why should she care what her friends thought of her, yet she did care. She really cared but she just couldn't explain why. She put her coat jacket on before downing the can of grape soda. Walking down the stairs Carmilla couldn't help but feel like she was doing the walk of shame, not that she was ashamed. Her head was just feeling in ways she didn't really like, and that she hadn't felt for a long time. Since the one that broke her hurt then proceeded to stamp on it and crash it into 100 pieces then serve it to her mother. Not that Carmilla was still slightly bitter.

"Well she seemed cheerful," Laf said not really sure if she was being serious or sarcastic as the worlds left her mouth.  
"Gives give her a chance, she really is..." Laura said slowly drifting her sentence off as she realised she had no idea where she was going with it. She knew that her friends were coming over but she wasn't really sure what was going on, the last 12 hours had been a bit of a blur if she was being honest with herself.  
{erry didn't say anything but started moving her hands in almost a panicked motions, if Laura wasn't used to it, it kind of looked like Perry had been electricity, her movements were always jolty when something unexpected happened orf something that she couldn't help but we uncomfortable by.  
"I bet your Dad loves the fact she spends the night in his t-shirt," Laf said heading into the other room with Laura and Perry. Laura couldn't believe that they had just left the pizza aimlessly on the side.  
"My Dad isn't going to know she was ever in it. Okay?" Laura said, she spoke like it was a question but Laf knew what she meant. That meat if her father ever phoned Laf this whole morning wouldn't be mentioned at any cost.   
"Sorry about the mess."   
"It's okay" Perry said picking up the pizza boxes and straightening the sofa pillows before walking into the kitchen space with the half-finished pizza boxes.   
"Just leave her to it," Laf muttered before Laura could comment or offer to help well 'help' Perry.  
Laura knew that Perry seeing someone she didn't know wearing very little when that wasn't what she was expecting would have made Perry more on edge than she already was. The whole reason she was coming over was so they could have a film day with popcorn and Perry could just forget about work for a while.  
"I thought it was all just a stunt" Laf said, she wasn't sure why she waited for her lover to be out of earshot it just didn't feel Luke an open discussion  
"It's just Calm. It's complicated" Laura said "Me and calm... It's not like that though. We aren't like you and Perry. We are friends" Laura spoke in short sharp sentences each one outdoing the previous until she found statement she was happy with.

The rest of the day Carmilla Karnstein was basically forgotten they just hung out like they used to talk about any other than real life, watching crappy sad films that made Laura and Laf cry but Perry stayed emotionless like she always did during films. Perry's emotions were something of a strange event. She was always so flustered and so determined that everything was normals films just didn't seem to affect her. Every bump or bad thing that took place during the 90 video she could find a rational and normally fairly good explanation for it. This meant she didn't need to show emotions.

Like most days after they had spent the evening together Carmilla avoided texting her friend and just got on with her day, trying to seem like she wasn't counting down the hours until it was socially acceptable to do such thing. When the clock hit 5 in the evening and Carmilla had risen from her NAL and was preparing to go out for the evening, she decided to drop Laura a text.

>   
> Carm: Hey cupcake, thanks for letting my crash and for the grape soda and the cookie ;) x

Laura saw it as soon as the light appeared on her screen but did everything she could not to reply instantly. After Perry and Laf had left it was mid evening.

> Cupcake: that's fine, your more than welcome x

The six words sent in less than a second but took Laura nearly 19 minutes to word in a way that came off the exact way she wanted them too. Carmilla was already hitting the town by that point so didn't reply. She just needed a random hook up to forget about all her feelings; nothing was easier for the girl than getting some one night stand. So that's what she did.


	8. Just another news years eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Carmilla's Mother decided to hold and event, Carmilla decided the only way she could get through it is by takin her new friend along for the evening.

"Please Laura. I really need this" Carmilla pleaded as they sat in separate apartments talking over the phone. Laura had Carmilla on speaker while she attempted to write her book. Carmilla was lead in her bed trying to read her boom ignoring the emails that kept appearing her inbox from her mother.  
" why don't you take one of your one-night hook ups" Laura replied trying to pretend that she didn't mind that Carmilla slept with other people. That weren't together, and it wasn't like they had ever done it. Yet every time Carmilla told her about them she couldn't help but feel cheated on.  
"You o me this" Carmilla pleaded. Completely ignoring Laura's comment. The answer was simple Carmilla wanted to take Laura, yet the reasoning was complicated. She barely knew the writer, yet something about Laura's body against her made the normally emotionless girl feel safe.  
"On one conduction?" Laura replied knowing exactly what she wanted Carmia to do  
"Sure?" Carmilla asked refused to say anything just in case it came back to bite her in the ass.  
"Come clean out your hair from my shower drain" Laura replied laughing. Laura would have done it anyway. There was no way SJ would have let her pass this opportunity up, with rumours of her new book just hitting social media Laura knew she needed hype, but she really couldn't be bothered with hype. If it was for anyone else she would have turned her nose up straight away but this wasn't for anyone else. At first, for Carmilla. There ever more complicated Carmilla.  
"Thanks, creampuff" Carmilla replied, knowing full well that Laura would get annoyed with Camilla's hair long before she ever got around to cleaning it up.  
"Promise me it won't last all night? " Laura asked, she had never been to an event as someone's plus one before and didn't want to admit she WS rather nervous.  
"It will be like 3 hours Max we just walk down stop for photos and wait for the rumours to start spreading about us while I say a few words about my mother," Carmilla said rolling her eyes at the idea that she was going to have to say something nice about her Mother.  
"So not something to share too excitedly with my Dad then" Laura replied. She and her father's relationship had always had its up and downs. Since Carmilla came into her life, it has been more on a down. Even when they were good, they went as good as they used to be. She tried her best just to play it off as her just growing up, but she knew it was Carmilla around. Carmilla couldn't help but make her Father uncomfortable. He wouldn't phone if he knew they had spent the day together and if Laura called him the conversation would be short and quick avoiding anything that could lead Laura to talk about her friend. Laura knew Carmilla was just a friend... Sort off but the world different and her Dad didn't believe her. For some reason, he had sided with the gossip magazine.  
"I'm not telling you how to handle your Dad cupcake" Carmilla replied trying to keep herself out of the way.  
"Urrrggh why do you only give advice when it suits you."  
"Got to have an air of mystery about me."  
Carmilla sensed Laura rolling her eyes, but she quite enjoyed winding the girl up "I will text SJ and let her know " Laura replied remembering that she had a PA that was needed in the loop. "Check it doesn't clash with my busy schedule" Laura couldn't help but laugh at the idea of her having plans on a Friday evening.  
"Whatever you say cupcake" Carmilla replied knowing perfectly well that she had persuaded Laura to be her plus one. She knew her Mother would be pleased to see that Laura had agreed to go with her, Carmilla wasn't sure what her mother thought was going on between Carmilla and Laura but she didn't really comment on it. The Dean got unfordable when Carmilla first started mentioning Laura as often as she does but after getting fewer police reports appearing in the news the Dean was slowly coming to the fact that maybe it wasn't all for show.  
Laura: Going with Carm to her Mothers event thing at new years eve. Assume I don't have plans - L  
"I have text SJ so there so no backing out now" Laura replied placing her phone back next to her keyboard and staring back at her word document.  
"Like I would want to do this with anyone else" Carmilla replied trying to be sweet. The pair spent many evenings on the phone sometimes talking about life other time jut letting Laura rant some days they sat in almost complete silence, but they both enjoyed it. Well, they both put up with each other, and that was close enough. Laura had never met anyone like Carmilla before, the hidden fire and passion that Carmilla locked away was a whole new concept to the writer who by her own admission lived a relatively hidden life. Carmilla was definitely not someone that would go to the church that her Father used to drag her to or even to the town darts matches. Carmilla was just the type of person that Laura had never needed in her life before they met, but now their lives were intertwined Laura couldn't imagine her life without someone like Carmilla. Without Carmilla, she couldn't imagine her life without the give in leather pants. It was crazy it had barely been six weeks but something about it was good.

_______

Christmas went by, and Laura went home. She wasn't sure that she wanted to really but duty calls, and she couldn't not spend Christmas with her Dad, she hadn't yet found the words to tell him that she wouldn't be there for new years that year. She wouldn't tell him the truth. She would just tell him that she booked her flight the on the 29th and hope he didn't ask too many questions.

Usually, she would spend new years eve down the local pub she grew up in bit she had promised Carm, she wanted to do this thing for the person she cared about. Weeks had gone by since they kissed and while neither of them spoke about it, it was on the tip if both their tongues. Carmilla hadn't mentioned it because she didn't want to drag Laura into her life any more than she already was, Carmilla loved having Laura around as a friend but the idea of ruining that didn't seem worth it. The idea of putting a label on it meant Laura was a more present part of her chaos and that wasn't fair o anyone. Laura on the other hand just didn't mention it because the idea of losing Carmilla at all was worse than taking about some stupid kiss. Basically, Laura was scared.

Carm: Happy Christmas Cupcake

Carmilla text Laura at 12.01  
Laura smiled as she paused the Christmas movie she was playing on her laptop to look at the text properly. Laura barely knew Carmilla, yet it almost felt wrong to be spending Christmas without her.

Carm: Go open the front door

Carmilla text her a few seconds later. This text made Laura panic was more than it should have. She had no idea what she would do if Carmilla has travelled down. Not that she ever would but That's the first thing Laura thought, it was more of hope than a thought.

Slowly Laura crept down the stairs. Hoping her Dad was asleep enough that he didn't hear Laura. Over her teenage years, Laura had become a master at knowing what floorboards and stairs made a noise. She now had a perfectly planned route to get down to the kitchen undetected. As she slowly undid the latch on the front door to the house she grew up it she couldn't help but feel kind of scared. If her Farther knew she was opening the front off because of a text of some girl that really she barely knew. He would be spraying Laura with Bear spray and locking her in her bedroom.

There on her porch sat a brown box. It was an ordinary cardboard box with no distinguishing features. There was no mailing address, and it was sealed shut with brown tape. If anything the tape was the only unusual thing, it was applied a tad too enthusiastically, almost as if the mailer had no scissors and instead used the whole roll. Laura smiled as she saw it, not that she knew what it was but she knew it must have been off Carmilla, if it wasn't it was just plain creepy.

She brought it inside and used the glow from the Christmas lights to see what she was doing. The world around her was dark and sitting alone in her living room she couldn't help but feel kind of crept out. Using a plug she opened the box. Cutting the black tape fast but then just watching the box for a few seconds, pressing the lid opening slightly just to check nothing was going to jump out at her or explode.

After what felt like a lifetime of waiting Laura couldn't help but open the box to see what was inside. It wasn't heavy, but it wasn't light either. Probably weighed the same amount as a small child if Laura had to compare it to anything in particular. Or the neighbour's cat if she was being precise.

opening the box under the light of the Christmas glow Laura couldn't help but smile.  
"Thanks Calm" she whispered before it hit her she really was alone. In side there was a matt white bike helmet sat almost perfectly on top of what looked like a motorcycle jacket in the failed light. The coat was black like a midwinter night an hour before pitch dark; that colour you see when you don't quite close your eyes all the way. Laura slowly lifted it out of the box. Laura's It was more fitted than the oversized faded and ripped one she had acquired.

Over the top of her night wear Laura placed the jacket on, it felt expensive that's all she knew. Laura knew that it probably was. As she put her hands in the pocket she pulled out a little note. At first, she half hoped it was the bill just so she knew how much she needed to make it up to her new found friend, but to her surprise there was a small folded bit of paper, the paper was an off white. Somewhere between cream and yellow. Laura was guessing that was the style of the paper rather than just how long it had sat in the jacket pocket.  
"Happy Christmas Cupcake" the note read in Carmilla handwriting which Laura had now decided looked a bit like the typewriter font she had on her laptop.

 

While still smiling like a kid in a candy store Laura folded it all backup and tried to put it back neatly in the box, it didn't look as good as when she first opened it but it still made her smile all the same.

Laura: I love it! Happy Christmas Calm xx

* * *

  
Laura's doorman had reluctantly Let Carmilla up, while he knew Carmilla he just didn't seem to like her presence in the building. Not that anyone else seems to mind, not that anyone else noticed at all.  
"Don't bother buzzing her. I will just knock" Carmilla said to the door man as she headed up the stairs, the man simply glared as she walked and nodded her head before going back to his magazine. Carmilla was pretty sure he had been reading the exact copy of that snooker magazine since before she started coming around. Carmilla was carrying a small single red rose, it was her sweet gesture after all Laura had agreed to do for her, it was the least Carmilla could do. Finding a single red rose on new years eve wasn't the easiest thing Carmilla had done. To be frank, it had occupied most of her day. she had spent longer looking for the rose than she did getting ready for the event itself and no one but Laura would see her sweet but really kind of stupid gesture.

The knock came quietly first and then there was silence, Carmilla knew Laura was there "Cupcake i know your there. You can't pretend. We are going" Carmilla was smiling as she could hear Lauras breathing on the other side of the door.  
Slowly the door opened, Laura was stood there looking as beautiful as ever.  
"All you have to do is smile, you already look good," Carmilla said staring up and down Laura noticing how well Laura could dress up. It wasn't that Carmilla didn't normally notice how great her friend looked but at that moment Carmilla couldn't even comprehend how truly beautiful Laura looked. Laura stepped back a few paces to let her friend in. Carmilla gave Laura the rose which she had carried like a baby in the limo being Careful not to been or break it.  
"Calm," Laura said, she wasn't even sure why she had spoken, but she just needed someone to calm her down. "It's beautiful" Laura said holding it. It was strange because while it should have smelt like flowers, Laura couldn't help but smell Carmilla when she put the rose to her nose.  
Coming in properly and shutting the door, Carmilla could tell that her partner for the evening was nervous.  
"Cupcake," Carmilla said holding Laura but the shoulders making sure she was looking the girl in the eyes. "You are unbelievable."  
"I Can't believe I'm doing this," Laura said breathing out as she spoke. Never filled every centimetre of her being. It had taken over her thought and movement in the past 24 hours.

Laura knew what people thought of her and Carmilla- most dysfunctional couple. People thought the were a couple and while neither of them minded it still made Laura nervous, this wasn't like when they went to the art gallery for a Laura event with art types and free spirited people that made Carmilla want to roll her eyes and avoid the 'yoga and relaxation room'. This was an event but Carmilla's Mom, they were going together. Laura was going as Carmilla's plus one, her date! For some reason the blonde just struggled to get her head around the whole idea.

On another note, Laura did make it though the whole of her Christmas stay with her Father without telling him...which meant he still didn't know. When rumours started spreading Laura told herself that she would only talk to her Dad about it all when he brought it up. He asked of Carmilla once while she was other for the holidays. The poor man had just learnt to accept that he was never going to understand the 'fake relationship' his daughter had going on, but she didn't have the gut to tell him about this red carpet event thin. She figured she could just example whatever needed to be explained when the photos got published then Laura could avoid putting her foot in and over sharing when she didn't need too.

Carmilla stood kind of awkwardly in lairs main room to her apartment while she finished getting ready, Laura wasn't running late Carmilla was just early, and okay Laura was running slightly late!  
"Come on Laur" Carmilla shouted from the room as Laura ran out taking her earring out as she moved, she had given up with hoops. They just weren't agreeing with her hair.  
"Wow," Carmilla said without thinking. Laura smiled the as she stopped in her tracks "Seriously cupcake you look beautiful" Carmilla said, she really meant it. She saw Laura she couldn't help but be taken back but the hidden beauty that had always been hidden behind the girl that never really left her sweats.

"Like a virgin sacrifice" Laura smirked, she couldn't help joking right at that moment. She needed for everything to feel like a normal, regular conversation she would have with her friend. Trying to forget she wasn't in an overpriced dress and high heels which she had spent the day walking up and down the stairs in to make sure she avoided any mishaps.  
"Like a virgin sacrifice," Carmilla related smiling at the person she cared about. Laura loved how just a few word the pair could share made her feel better.  
"Are we getting a taxi?" Laura asked as the shut the door behind them and started to make their way down the stairs.  
"No, My mother arrange this. So I am sorry in advance" Carmilla said. Laura had done red carpets before she was a best-selling author. She had been to awards but not like this, this all felt so different and new to her even though she had done it before. She was attending this because Carmilla mother had told Carmilla to attend and the girl didn't want to go alone. It was the dean's event, so it was no surprise that Carmilla was forced to participate.

"Holy Hufflepuff" Laura couldn't hold in her excitement as a sleek black limo waited by the main entrance. Carmilla had her hand in Lauras, but that wasn't strange, they walked around like that all the time. They walked around streets hand in hand whether they were alone, or there were 1000 cameras. Something about each other gave the other hope and confidence. They made each other happy, and it was unique but good. Very good. It was the kind of feeling that made Laura understand what Laf and Perry were always going on about not that she would tell Carmilla that.

"Last red carpet, i just went in a car. This isn't a car" Laura said  
"My mother cupcake," Carmilla said smiling at the limo that was outside.  
"Ready to go Miss Keinstein," A male voice said from the outside of the limo. Laura hadn't even noticed the man was stood there. She was still in a sort of shock.  
"That's Simon" Carmilla whispered into Laura's ear "He is one of the drivers."  
"You have a driver" Laura whispered back probably slightly too loud as Simon looked back at her and smiled sweetly. Carmilla couldn't help but break into a smile. Sometimes Carmilla forgot that all the money Laura had wasn't family but it was earned. Everything that Laura had she had worked so hard for and it was a moment like getting into a limo that Carmilla remembered that.

"Simon meet Miss Laura Hollis," Carmilla said as the pair got into the limo  
"Pleasure to meet you Miss Hollis," Simon said as he opened the door for the pair of them. "My wife loves your books by the way" the man slipped in as Laura got in After Carmilla.  
"You should have brought them with you i would have signed them for her, i love meeting people that like me," Laura said speaking fast trying to stop talking before she ended up rambling to the poor driver.  
"Noted Miss Hollis," Simon said smiling before shutting the door on them and returning to the front. From the back you couldn't see Simon, but Carmilla knew he could slide a thing across if they wanted to talk to each other.

"sure we can't just go and get cookies?" Laura asked she was still nervous, at one point this year she doubted that she would ever like leaving her apartment never mind as someone's plus one to a very fancy event. What also didn't put Laura at ease was that she had never met Carmilla's Mom before, she had never met the dean.

"cupcake look at me," Carmilla said making Laura look up from the floor. "You're the best person in the world; you light up every room. You light up my entire dark world. You can do this, its just a red carpet" Carmilla smiled in the award way she always did when kind words left her mouth.  
"Just a red carpet with your mother."  
"Oh, my Mother!" Carmilla sighed at the thought of having to make public small talk with the women "She won't talk to us, we are just here so no one think me and her have fallen out" Carmilla replied trying to subtly explain her relationship with her mother to Laura while saying as little as she possibly could.  
"We can do this Calm," Laura said only just noticing that Carmilla was just a nervous as she was.  
"I know, i know" the journey felt like a lifetime neither of them were really up for small talk but neither o them wanted to sit in silence either.

"We are here Miss Karnstein," Simon said pulling the car to a stop. and pulling across the glass that separated the pair of them.  
"Thanks," Carmilla said about to open the door to face the world  
"Wait I will get the door," He said, Laura could tell from the tone of his voice he was just trying to do his job.  
"I can open the door," Carmilla said trying her best not to come off like she had just snapped at the poor man. The man simply nodded and refrained from moving.  
The outside contained screams and camera flashes as gossip spokespeople, Tv presenters and the world outside stopped there. There matt black limo was doing a great job at making the outside world seem light years away, they knew the world outside was going crazy yet sat still they couldn't feel in.

A year ago when Laura as spending new years eve in he pub with her father, people came up to her and took photos with her, her grade teacher and distant relatives spent the night telling her they always knew she would do well, that they always knew she would get out of this little town. They told her how much she had grown since they last saw her like Laura was unaware she had grown up since she was 7. That felt so many worlds away from the new years eve she was currently in, she couldn't really believe she was sat in a limo with a girl that in the past few weeks had somehow managed to become such a large part of her world.

Neither of them could have picture their lives colliding like they did. They were simply thrown together and told to try and get along. Laura wasn't sure either side thought this would be the outcome. She certainly didn't and SJ was just a surprised as she was when the pair kept in contact. Carmilla, on the other hand, knew there was something about Laura that made her want to stay; that made her want to continue to live and improve herself. They just got along like a house on fire yet neither of them was really sure what they spoke about.

Carmilla opened the door to the flashing of camera. She pretended she didn't mind but really she had to do everything she could not to simply roll her eyes. She heard the door open for Laura who slid across the seats and used Carmilla's arm to help her get out with falling over in heels which she had already decided were a bad idea. The first few steps were shaken as the cameras went off but Laura had expected to feel like a deer caught in the headlights but by the time she had walked maybe half a dozen steps she had caught her flow, Carmilla's arm was around her waist for support more than anything. Plus Laura had decided she like Carmilla when she was this close, when Laura could smell the conductor that Carmilla used, it made her feel safe.  
The pair had to pause for a few seconds to talk to some reported that Carmilla had never heard off. It was polite to stop occasionally her mother had told her so that's what she was doing. They hadn't got to the main photo bit but they were starting to feel more at home. The world around them should have been dark but it was filled with spotlights and you wouldn't have released that outside this radius there was pitch black darkness at people wondered to others houses and to their local pub to celebrate new years eve.  
"Hey Ladies, i am from Glamour magazine," the women with a microphone said, her voice was nice almost calming but both the girls knew it was her job to be nice.  
"Hey," Laura said smiling politely.  
"hey," Carmilla said, she couldn't help but follow lairs lead, they were being read by nerves and the fact the quicker they spoke to these people the quicker they could access the open bar and free food.  
"I am so glad you could make it."  
"We wouldn't miss it for the world" Carmilla replied, her normal sarcastic tone hit Laura's ears.  
"Some people are surprised to see you here tonight?" the women said cutting straight to the point. Carmilla wasn't sure who she was talking to or who it was aimed at but she felt the need to defend herself, her instincts kicked in.  
"Its my mother's event and I would always come. And, There is no one else i would rather be here with" Carmilla replied almost snapping but managed to keep the calm (wish) tone her mother had been emailing her about for the last week.  
Laura didn't say anything but couldn't help but smile.  
"I mean have you seen my date" Carmilla said now looking at the women but her body language was very much towards Laura.  
The women smiled quickly releasing that no more deep or too personal questions would go down to tell.  
"You up for a quickfire questions round" she asked politely, Carmilla was pretty impressed that had been talking for a whole minute, and her mother hadn't been mentioned.  
"Sure" Carmilla replied tensing up a little.  
"Lets go for it" Laura replied trying to stay happy and positive even though she was freezing  
"If you guys could say one thing to your 12-year-old self what would it be?" The women asked flicking through the cards in front of her.  
"It will all be okay" Laura replied fast, not sure weather they were meant to be serious or not  
"Black is an acceptable colour no matter what anyone says" Carmilla said, as she spoke she imagined what it would have been like for her 12-year-old self to be told that she should just wear what she wants that people are always going to care no matter what you do.  
The women smiled before asking them another question  
"What's your goal for next year?"  
Carmilla looked briefly at Laura trying to find the words for her answer  
"Get Laura to invest in a motorbike" Carmilla replied not even looking at the women from the magazine now but just looking at her friend.  
"Not happening" Laura mouthed to Carmilla, they properly looked at each other with a smile for slightly too long.  
"Laura," The women said smiling and hinting at the camera to take a still shot of the pair as they liked let in each other  
"Publish my next book" Laura replied trying to answer honestly without starting another conversation. She knew that she was here for Carmilla not for subtle promotion no matter what anyone else thought.  
"What's your "I'm so tough I could beat up the Rock" song?" The women asked, moving on. Both the girls knew she had a long list of people she wanted to talk to but she was sweet enough all the same.  
"Fight song by Racheal Platten" Laura replied fast making sure she got in there before Carmilla just because she had now started a little game with herself in an attempt not to freeze to death or completely lose focus.  
"Gotta be Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus" Carmilla replied, she wasn't sure that was true, but then again she wasn't even sure she understood the question completely.  
"And final how would you describe your look," The women asked, what a sexist question Laura thought to herself, she could think of a million sharp replied telling the unexpected women how wrong it was to ask someone that, that was nearly as bad as when someone asked what was in her purse.  
Carmilla bound her head trying not to laugh as the only answer she could think of giving came to her mind "Like a virgin sacrifice" Laura let out a gasp of laughter mixed with air.  
"It's an inside joke" Laura pleaded to the women she barely knew.  
"I gathered" the gossip women replied laughing. "Well, it was lovely meeting you both, have a nice night."  
"And you," Laura said they couldn't walk away any quicker.  
"I couldn't help it" Carmilla said, before Laura could say anything.  
"I didn't say anything" Laura replied placing her hand on her side touching Carmilla, only for a second but the gesture was there.

  
They smiled for photos and couldn't wait to get inside.The inside was magical, A stage where her mother would announce her big announcement, an open bar. People walking around with trays of food dressed all smart. It was how Laura had imagined it yet completely different. She did feel out of place even if she looked like she fitted it, people spoke all around them. A waitress gave the girls a glass of what they could only hope was something booze related. The woman wouldn't have looked out of place in a school uniform, yet she was dressed in a casually tailored suit and her hair was salon-perfect much like every other member of staff that was walking around.  
"Not long till it's socially acceptable we can leave."  
"Calm we have been inside like 5 minutes."  
"Exactly."  
Laura rolled her eyes and smiled at Carmilla.

"There's Mother" Carmilla said breaking the silent that was between them as they found their seats. The whole place kind of reminded Laura of a very fancy wedding.  
Carmilla pointed the women out with her eyes. She looked jut like she did off the Tv. Always dressed like she as going to a funeral, with a resting bitch face and no smile even though her reminder told everyone that she was. She looked like a business woman, but Carmilla was right the women didn't look like any sort of mother, she walking around she didn't look like she had any loving bone in her body.  
"Mircalla Karnstein," the women said making a significant portion of the room look at the women as she walked over to her daughter.  
"Mother" Carmilla gritted her teeth and stood up. Who the hell was Mircalla Laura had thought to herself. She made the adult decision that now probably wasn't the best time to ask.

The hugged each other and The Dean kissed her daughter on the cheek. The hug was a perfunctory gesture mandated by social etiquette and colder than day old oatmeal. It was short where it should belong, rigid instead of soft and ended as abruptly as it had begun. It had all the soothing qualities of a traffic warden and just as much sex appeal.  
"Glad you could make it."  
"Like I had much of a choice."  
The both smiled sweetly when they spoke to passers-by would just think they were having a close catch up but their words were hitting each other where it hurts.  
"Glad we agree," The women said "Nice to meet you Laura Darling," The women said now looking at Laura who had stood up just after Carmilla.  
Laura did a little wave with her left hand "and you" she replied trying to keep calm, she couldn't really believe she was meeting the dean, felt a bit unreal in her mind. Law would totally be jealous of this conversation she thought to herself.

Then she was gone without a backwards glance, duty done, hug and 2 minutes of small talk performed.  
"Mircalla?" Laura said as the women walked away.  
"Carmilla" Carmilla simply replied sarcastically, Carmilla knew what Laura was asking, but she didn't want to talk about her name. Not now. Not ever. 

* * *

 

"Let's Dance," Carmilla said trying to keep her mind away from actually thinking, it was 11.50, and she wasn't sure how midnight was going to go. for the first time since she had met Laura she was really nervous about where her actions were going to lead.  
The rest of the evening was gone without a hitch, but Carmilla was going to either get very drunk or cramp if she sat still for any longer.  
"I dont dance" Laura replied looking around at other people that surrounded her, all dancing slowly in time. The couples were in sync in a way Laura wasn't sure she could do.  
"Waltzing is scandalous," Carmilla said smiling, looking down ever so slightly as she spoke.  
"How is waltzing scandalous?" Laura asked as Carmilla took her hand and they stood up. Laura knew that question meant she was going to have to dance but a small part of her didn't mind. They were at this stupid fancy new years eve event might as well make use of it.  
"Partners are face to face, chest to chest," Carmilla said pulling Laura in and holding her as she spoke "All of that twirling" she then said making Laura twirl. The pair laughed as Carmilla pulled her back in  
"In 1698 it may as well have been sex" Carmilla said as the couple moved like one yet very clumsy by where they were sat  
Before Laura really knew what she was doing she was doing it. Letting Carmilla take the lead, she was putting all her trust into Carmilla, and it made her feel lost yet safe. She left like they were the only people in this busy new years eve gathering.

The music fitted in with their steps and as the clock ticked ever closer they both forgot about why they were at the place in the first place, they just remember the fact they were there together. Very dysfunctional but they had turned up together. As Carmilla guided Laura safely to the music. Laura didn't let her mind wonder. She did glance around to see who was watching she just followed the lead of her partner.

They stopped as the other celebrates started counting down around them

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3


	9. She only came over for her mug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a time jump. Laura meets Mattie. Mattie scares the crap out of Laura

"What the frilly hell is this!"  
"Get the hell out of my apartment before I feed you your spleen." Carmilla snapped. Laura had never seen Carmilla like this.   
"Why did you let her in?"  
"What part of this looks like let!" Laura said trying to avoid eye contact with the scary ass women that was in the apartment when Laura got in. She only came to pick up her mug, now who ever this was wouldn’t let her leave.   
"I am the one being told not to move from your kitchen chair for fear of my life" Laura snapped, there was real fear in her voice.  
"She was breaking in."   
"Mattie what are you doing here" Carmilla demanded again.  
"Can't I pop in and see my little sis" Mattie replied not taking her eyes off of Laura which was still not putting Laura in any way at ease.  
"SIS!?" Laura mouthed sharply to Carmilla who just pretended she didn’t see it.   
"We can talk in a minute darling, just stand back while I get rid of this little journalist that was breaking into your home."  
"Mattie," Carmilla said relaxing a little when she realised that Mattie didn’t know who Laura was, was she really not watching the news?   
"Mattie that’s Laura, the girl in question."   
Mattie took a step back from Laura who let out a large breath that she had been holding in. Laura couldn’t help but feel scared. She had never met any of Carmilla's family other than her mother, and even that was only from a glance down the red-carpet about six weeks previous. Laura and Carmilla had been in each others lives for four months and by anyone's standard they were complicated. They had 10 tonne of unspoken conversations that they both knew they needed to have. But, together their days were spent laughing in each others company. Smiling, when together they forgot the world but when apart their lives couldn’t help but move on. They both dated. Well Carmilla dated. Sort of, kind of. She occasionally went to a bar and came home with someone if that’s what you call dating then yes they both dated but on the whole, they were together. Not together together but not really with anyone else. The media had settled then spiked and was now just beginning to settle again. Apparently, the gossip magazines like to spread rumours about the pair like they had a marriage in crisis. In reality, they didn’t have a crisis … or a marriage other than they the gossip magazines were always right!

Carmilla hugged Mattie turning her around and away from Laura's face. Turning her away from the girl she cared about. Carmilla's heart was racing. She couldn’t believe that Mattie had just shown up. She never showed up. It had been nearly two years since Mattie went away for work. She hadn't returned since. She left her Mothers life as soon as she could, she kept her head down. She was violent and very good shot at the range, but she worked hard. She worked hard to get away unlike Will who had a very successfully modelling and will always be a household name even after his death of accidental overdose three weeks before Mattie went away. His face was still up in magazines and in 'hot men' calenders. Carmilla didn’t think about him often but when she saw Mattie it just reminded her of him. It reminded her of the family she used to have not the mess she was currently working with.

"I could totally rip her head off" Mattie whispered in her little sister's ear while hugging her.   
"Please don't" Carmilla said probably slightly too loud but Laura just pretended she didn't hear it. Carmilla could hear Laura's heartbeat. Laura wasn't calm, but her resting face was beginning to look almost normal given the situation.

Why Laura decided on today to go to Carmilla's she will never know. She never went to Carmilla's. She had a key, but she never needed to use it. The place never really felt like home in the same way her apartment did. She could have come any other day and not bumped into (been trapped by) Carmilla's creepy death-obsessed totally not a mortician, mortician of a sister. Any other day she could have been in and out in less than 10 minutes but no she had been sat on that wooden chair for the best part of an hour, her butt was numb, but fear had stopped boredom taking over. Until Carmilla arrived Laura had no idea who had trapped her but she didn't feel like she could have taken them and she was glad she didn't. She had heard stories about Mattie. Laura would have totally lost.

"I'm Laura by the way," Laura said just speaking to hide her fear that she decided was still very present.   
"So my sister mentioned" Mattie replied. Laura couldn't work out if Mattie was being sarcastic or she just had the same permanent sarcastic tone that Carmilla had.

"How's my baby sister doing?" Mattie said now blatantly ignoring Laura at this point.   
"I was doing just fine" Carmilla replied still unsure of the small talk she was required to make. Smiling uncomfortably. Sensing her little sister tension Mattie turned to face Laura.

"Its nothing personal darling. I am just not used to having someone being in my sister apartment when I arrive" Mattie said taking a step back and smiling sarcastically much like Carmilla does like all the time   
"It's fine," Laura said using her hand gestures to show how totally not fine she was with the whole totally confusing situation  
"So how was South Africa?" Carmilla asked going and standing by Laura who was still sat rather flustered on a dining room chair.   
"You know. I had a job to do" Mattie replied laughing. Mattie reminded Laura of Carmilla when they first met, all angry but not I'm going to speed down the highway and do a wheely to feel free kind of anger, but pure deep dark anger much like their mother has on her TV. No love came from Mattie's voice. Just anger and frustration.   
"She's a mortician," Carmilla said looking between me to Mattie and Mattie back to me. Something about Mattie screamed dead people. Laura didn't dare tell her friends that she already knew Mattie's professional after her stalking took a strange turn the night before their first encounter  
"What are you doing Mattie?"  
"Can one not check up on their little sister."  
"You can't no" Carmilla replied placing her hand on the top of the chair. Laura had never seen Carmilla tense up like this. She had never gotten invited in thief family arguments. She never wanted too. Laura always understood that being related to the dean must be complicated. Laura never had put a name to face until she was attacked and pinned to a chair rather violently. Mattie was exactly like Carmilla had described, but she just didn't make the connection. Why would she?   
The longer Laura spent in the chaos that Carmilla called less she realised she knew. Carmilla knew everything about Laura, but Laura just told her Carmilla never had to question anything too much. Laura ranted and rambled and in those words facts and stories from her past just came flooding out. Carmilla on the other hand only spoke about her past when drunk or asked very specifically.

Carmilla was trying her best to keep the peace. Even putting the kettle on and making the person she cared about and her sister try and get along. She was never under the idea that Mattie was easy to get on with, or that Laura would be a massive fan of her sister.

The conversation was small talk enough Carmilla asked questions about South Africa where it became very apparent that Carmilla's mortician wasn't a mortician. Laura just sat and listened trying not to think of every word that Mattie said like she was a journalist. BMattie stories sounded like she had live over a lifetime. With new adventures and deaths in every breath. Laura didn't dare say anything; she still valued her life plus she didn't want to make this any harder to Carmilla. Carmilla had never seen Laura this quiet. It wasn't something she was used too. Laura usually could talk for the country about just about anything yet during this conversation she barely let out two words just holding her hot chocolate and treasuring it like she was never going to see another one again. Holding the mug as if it was her lifeline. Carmilla wished this situation hadn't happened but this was Mattie, she wanted to yell and screen at the fact her sister had broken into her apartment, but she didn't want to lose Mattie. It was just strange seeing her after all this time. Really seeing her not just the occasional text and even less occasional phone call.   
Carmilla had her hand subtly on her friend's leg. For most people that would be strange but just Carmilla's presence comforted the writer and at that moment she needed all the help she could get. Carmilla's hand was the only thing keeping Laura's breath steady and keeping her from shaking. It was in moment like that one where Laura truly realised how much she needed the girl in the leathers in her life.

Just when Laura thought it couldn't get any harder she heard the sound of her friend's phone. Recognising the ring tone Laura had set on Carmilla's phone for the dean. Laura couldn't help but flinch, the sound of the ringtone normally meant there was about to be a heated phone argument followed by Carmilla in a bad mood.   
"I better get it," Carmilla said, Carmilla got her phone and then got up from the chair. She knew it was her mother and wasn't going to have a heated debate in front of her sister.   
"I won't be long " Carmilla mouthed to Laura, she figured her sister   
"I'm not going to pretend I understand what is going on between you and my sister because it will make me sick," Mattie said in more of a whisper while Carmilla was on the phone.   
"There isn't anything going on," Laura said, in her head she sounded quite convincing but out loud it sounded very unconvincing.   
Mattie just carried on like she hadn't heard Laura, she wasn't blonde nor was she native. She knew what her sister was, who her sister liked to date. If her mother had tried to get used it, Mattie knew that she must at least try to understand. None of Carmilla's family liked the gender of Carmilla's dates but knowing that there was nothing they could do over time her mother had learn to grit her teeth. Setting her Daughter up with Laura was The deans best act of acceptance. She didn't speak about it with her daughter. None of them spoke about it, speaking about it caused arguments, and even the dean got tired of arguing with her daughter.   
"If you hurt my little sister 'cupcake' I swear I will hunt you down and do things to you that make Charles Manson look like Mother Theresa."


	10. Take as many labels as you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sort of an argument, I'm sorry. I promise it all ends in fluff

Carmilla was being as emotionless as ever laughing about some models Instagram and mocking various people's tweets when Laura just lost it, she didn’t want to hear Carmilla talk about women anymore, she didn’t want to spend days lounging around playing connect 4 or chess. She didn’t just want to be a late night phone call anymore. She couldn’t say that though, she couldn’t find the words to tell the person she loved that she didn’t just want to be a kiss in front of a camera or a late night call when she couldn’t sleep. Laura couldn’t just be light and fluffy, no feelings or no strings attached anymore; it broke her. She had promised her Dad she wouldn’t be broken. She had made a promise to her Dad that she wouldn’t get hurt again, that she would leave before it got like Danny. She didn’t want this to get like Danny.   
“She pretty,” Carmilla said breaking the silence showing Laura a picture of a girl’s Instagram. Laura could only nod, Carmilla just wanted a reaction. But nothing. “I love having a friend I can do this with,” Carmilla said. Carmilla loved Laura but she knew that Laura was just a friend so she was trying and failing to be okay with everything.   
"Get out Carm!" Laura said pushing Carmilla’s head off her shoulders.   
"What cupcake?"   
"I’m being serious. Leave Carmilla"   
"What are you on about?"   
"I can’t do this anymore. No more light and fluffy. Leave" Her words packed a punch and hurt Carmilla in the way Danny used to her Laura, the worlds didn’t make sense yet Carmilla felt herself needing to leave. She wanted to fight but wasn’t sure what she was fighting for. She didn’t want to fight for a lover that only saw her as a friend. But, she didn’t want to lose Laura.   
"Laura... what are you on about"   
"Please just leave Carm,” Laura said letting the tears run down her face. All Carmilla wanted to do was wipe the tears and hold the person she loved only the person she loved had no idea that it was even love. Carmilla doubted that Laura cared about her the way she cared about Laura. The argument was over before it had even begun. Carmilla didn’t know what to say and left Laura crying on the sofa, she kissed Laura on the top of the head making Laura squeeze her eyes tight shut to hold back more tears than she ever thought she could produce.   
Carmilla wanted to fight, she wanted to scream that she wasn’t leaving but she couldn’t work out what she needed to say. For the 1st time in a long time, she wasn’t even sure words could save her now. As she closed the apartment door behind her she was half certain that nothing could safe her now.

It took five minutes of silence before Laura picked up her phone and Called Carmilla. Carmilla who was sat outside Laura's apartment head in her hands just declined the call. Ignoring the text, trying to work out what she had done. Trying to tell herself something that would make her stay but she couldn't do it. Switching her phone off Carmilla just went. She did what Laura asked, she always did what Laura wanted and Laura didn't want her, Laura wanted her to leave.

* * *

 

  
"Laf this isn't funny," Laura said, it was the first thing she had said since her friend arrived. She couldn’t process anymore.   
"I'm only laughing to hide my anger that fucking bat is dead when we find her" Laf replied  
Carmilla had just disappeared. She hadn't been in contact with Laura for 4 days now and to say Laura wasn't worried would have been a lie. This was the longest they hadn't spoke since that first met 7 months ago. They were always in contact while they went about their days. 9 times out of 10 Carmilla would spend the days doing what her Mother asked and the evenings with Laura. Carmilla could spend days without going home. Apart from now. Where Laura had no idea where the women was. She didn't have a clue where Carmilla would go, it was at that moment while Laf was sat one the bed and Laura was prancing up and down her room in one of Carmilla's black hoodies it hit her. She knew barely anything about the girl she shared her life with. They would talk all the time. She would spout deep meaningful quotes and phrases left, right and centre yet nothing of any value. It was moments like this where Laura needed something of value. As she tried to stop the tears from falling she was playing over every conversion in her head. It started just the day before Carmilla went she tried to work out if something seemed off but everything was the same. Nothing new, nothing different. Then she went back a bit further and day by day she was even replying their first date thing over and over in her head reading every subtweet or Instagram quote trying to work out where she might be. Laura had a sinking feeling deep down in her stomach that when she yelled in anger, Carmilla really listened.

"Laura you need to eat something," Laf said trying to be to supportive friend knowing that Perry needed to do it better "And sleep you look dreadful" Laf looked again at Laura for a reply or a nod or something but no. Nothing Laf wasn't even sure that the words had even been processed in Laura's brain. Laf got up from the bed where she had bee sat for the last 8 hours stretching her legs and turning to grab Laura. Laura was short but Laf only being 5" 2 meant she could look Laura quite comfortably in the eye. She held on tightly to both the blondes shoulders forcing Laura to look at her. Forcing eye contact.

"I'm going to call Perry, she will bring over some brownies and cookies and we will get you to bed" Laura didn't reply just look down on the floor to see a dream catcher that must have fallen on their floor.   
" you wait here okay I an just going to phone Perry, " Laf said again no reply. This wasn't even Laura's normal break up mood. Not that Laf was really sure what this was. Normally she was passive aggressively angry while holding ice cream. Laura was just worried, she hadn't eaten in over 24 hours. She hadn't slept in nearly 4 days. Shutting her eyes made her head spin with fear. Her bed felt strange without Carmilla it in. For the girl that used to starfish in her king-size bed it now felt too big, she was used to holding Carmilla for them to fall asleep breaths in sink. But, now she wasn't there. Carmilla wasn't there and Laura didn't know why. That’s what broke her.

"Perry please you need to come over and bring as much baked goods as we have in the apartment," Laf said on the phone before hanging up, she really didn't have time to stay and chat as much as she could listen to Lola Perry’s voice forever, it would solve anything right now. Right now Laf needed to hold her best friend. They needed to do something that Carmilla promised would never happen. Perry did as she was asked and less that 20 minutes later Perry arrived cleaning stuff in one hand and Tupperware containers filled with all the baked goods they had stored in their apartment, which looking at it now was probably a very unhealthy amount.

When Laf and Perry went back to see Laura, she hadn't moved. She was still stood in the same place Laf had put her in when holding her, In Laura mind she was running around the block screaming but in reality, she was stood there shaking. Trying to be okay. Trying not to be the girl when the broken heart that was falling apart.   
They watched Doctor who until they couldn't face the theme tune anymore, neither of the moved from Laura’s bed as Laf let Laura rest her head on her shoulder. Neither of them touched her hair, not like Carmilla would do. Oh, how Laura longed for that touch. She wasn't sure how she ever lived without the girl in leathers. She didn't realise how much of her life now had the girl in it until they weren't together anymore.

Days passed on slowly but they passed, Laura had someday where she was okay and somewhere she wasn’t. As promised her friends never left her side. Laura thought that her and Carmilla were tight, they were. That’s why Carmilla left. Laura just didn’t know that.

  
It had been weeks Laura wanted to say her life was starting again but she had struggled to get off bed, phone calls with her Dad had become him leaving her voice mails while Laf had to pick up the pieces of what Carmilla did to her. Laf had to tell Laura she was worth more than Carmilla and that Laura was going to be okay when Laf didn't know that. The pain in Laura's heart had gone from worrying about Carmilla to just being angry to just being pissed off and hurt. Her heart was breaking in a way Carmilla told her it never would. There had been no text, no call, nothing Laura just wanted something. Closure. Laura didn’t think they went to bed in an argument the night Carmilla left, they were bickering but they always did that. Nothing new, nothing special yet there was no longer a Carmilla.

Laf and Perry hadn’t left Laura’s side as she spent days in bed trying to tell their best friend that life will start again. That all this pain is just temporary. Perry was nervous for Laura and Laura’s apartment could tell, a plate was barely left unwashed on the side for 5 minutes before Perry would clean it up.

Silence had taken over Laura’s world, she didn't have any words. She couldn't bring herself to speak or even write she couldn't look at another page of words. She didn't want to think. Laura no longer knew how to write. She didn't know how to put words together in clever, metaphorical ways. All she knew was she missed Carmilla, she just missed her that was all she knew. It consumed her and took her over. All her friends could do was hold on to the hope that this was temporary.

Some days Laura would tell herself she was okay, she would get up and shower just to remember that all she could feel was sadness. Sometimes hidden in another emotion but always there. Every other emotion was pushed from her being. Where there was love, the light, the laughter is an aching hollowness.

Carmilla couldn't describe the events of the last few weeks, she got scared so she did what Mattie always does. Carmilla got onto a plane and went to south Africa. She went to see Mattie, who lived in hook ups and chaos. She didn't know what made her do what she did but she knew it was pretty bad when even she couldn't find the words to justify why she did it all. Why she put Laura through hell, she didn't have the words. Maybe that was the problem. Carmilla’s lack of emotions and disinterest to admit life was the reason for all the problems. The guilt sat not on her chest but inside her brain. What she had done she could not undo, she couldn't take back the pain but leaving Laura with the pain now meant it was temporary staying any longer would have left long term damage. Carmilla knew what she was, she knew she was toxic. Laura didn't deserve toxic. Regret washed over her like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down her spine. How she longed to go back and take a different path, but now that was impossible.  
Carmilla told herself she would never come home, she would just let the gossip magazines die down and she would stay with Mattie, their relationship was dysfunctional but siblings were siblings. Always there for each other and always there for each other. It was fine in principle until Carmilla passed a shop that smelt like their apartments overwhelmingly flowery to find Carmilla's cigarette smell. Her nostrils engulfed the hint of vanilla in the air, that smelt like her shampoo and with it her brain flooded with pictures of her. Carmilla couldn't do it anymore so as quickly as she arrived in south Africa she left. Hugging Mattie who was mad but understood that love was crazy and unknown. Mattie wasn't a big fan of Laura but she was a big fan of her sister's happiness. Little did Mattie know what her little sister was going home too.

Carmilla couldn’t believe she was doing this, the May weather was as temperamental as ever and yet she stood outside the building. The doorman knew who she was and let her in, smiling politely trying to make small talk about the weather while Carmilla found the courage to start walking up the stairs. The lift in Laura’s building had been broken since before Carmilla knew her, from the lack of a sign telling people so she doubted it had ever really worked. Carmilla reckoned the lift was really just there for decoration. With a deep breath for confidence she started walking up the stairs she did one floor easy enough. Laura was only 2 floors up yet she must have walked up and down the 2-floor steps more times than she had even done before. Each time she got close running away seemed like the safer option. From the outside Laura Hollis’ door looked like every other door in the building. A slightly off white that was most likely clean and pure when it was first put in but had now stained a gone off yellow, but when the door was opened and the yellow pillows from the sofa came shining out, the door looked almost a happy colour.   
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime of walking she stood face to face with the door of Laura’s apartment, she shook her head fast before whispering 'get it together Karnstein' several times before she knocked harsh and forward onto the door almost scared she would put her fist through it. Carmilla had a key to Laura’s just as Laura did to her place but it didn’t feel right to use it, not right now. Laura opened the door with her hair up and her sweats on she had been using this sort of heartbreak to finish her book, which she started all that time ago. It was nearly finished and she was pretty proud of it.   
"I'm bad for you Laura I'm toxic" Carmilla stated as soon as the door was opened. She wasn’t even sure what made that sentence come together in her head, it was laura who told her to leave not the other way around.   
"You don't get to decide that," Laura said almost wanting to hug the visitor that had arrived at her door, even though she knew what she had said.  
"Carmilla I think it's best you just leave," Laf said going to stand behind laura who was still stood almost in shock at the door. using and holding the door for balance.   
Carmilla couldn't help but roll her eyes, of course, the ginger things were at the apartment.  
Carmilla looked at Laura as Laura looked almost in shock at Carmilla’s presence.   
"You want the kind of love that clicks like a key into a lock, I can’t give you that Laur. I have none of that to give" Carmilla wasn’t sure where the conversation was going as those words left her mouth but she knew that if Laura wanted her to leave she wasn’t going to go down easy, she wasn’t going to lose Laura easily. The last few weeks had been the worst she had been though since they met.  
"I don’t know what you want me to say Calm" Laura replied. She couldn’t believe Carmilla had even bothered with her, Laura wasn’t sure who she expected at the door but it Carmilla certainly hadn’t been on the list. She half hoped it was Perry with more baked goods.  
"Do you miss me?" Carmilla asked looking into Laura’s eyes, making her remember what they had. Bringing back the feelings that even ice cream and brownies couldn’t truly heal.   
"Like someone cut a whole in me." Laura whimpered looking down at the dark wooden floor that was in her hallway in comparison to the maroon red carpet in the apartment.   
“Then why push me away like you don’t care,” Carmilla asked.   
"You think I pushed you away because I don’t care. Because the thought of something happening to you makes me feel like I can't breathe because if you do then you don’t know me." Laura carried on talking now she had started, the writer had taken over, she was rambling again. “I hate your cigarettes and the girls you go see because one is killing you while the other is killing me," Laura said now looking at Carmilla. This wasn't how she wanted her love to Carmilla to come out. In her hallway with Laf stood barely 2 steps behind her. Carmilla couldn't help but smile at getting Laura talking again even if it was about this "I don’t want to pretend that what I feel about you doesn’t matter Carm, I don’t want to be at the call for your mother's image. That’s not me and I have been pretending it is for way too long."   
"Laur, I have spent the last 3 hours walking up and down the stairs to your crappy apartment, not for my own benefit but because I don’t have the words. I don’t have the answers or the things that make life simple. I am not your simple way out but I am here. You pushed me out Laura, you told me to leave. Not the other way around."   
"But you left!"   
"Because you asked me too"   
"I know you didn’t leave because I asked you too, I know you didn’t do it for me"   
"Don’t be an idiot Laura! Of course, I did it for you."   
"You said you want me for a friend and you should know I hate that sound but I bite tongue because I hate it when you’re pissed off," Laura replied. Carmilla couldn't help but look at the floor. “I don’t just want us to be light and casual anymore, I don’t want to pretend that I don’t have feelings anymore Carm. I want something real"   
" In the last what 6 months you have become my world you are the only person in this damn universe that I care about but because it doesn’t click but because it’s not simple, it’s not enough"   
"I just want someone to call my girlfriend" Laura snapped. Carmilla didn’t see it before but that’s what the problem was, it wasn’t Carmilla’s lack of emotions or because she didn’t share her what she didn’t think it was important. It was truly and simply about the label on it all.   
"Laura Hollis you stupid girl, I am not going anywhere. If you want a label take as many as you want. I just want you, I just want you that’s it."   
"Really?" Laura asked in shock still. Laura hadn’t felt love since Danny and even then that wasn’t the same love as this, this was crazy and irrational and slightly stupid. This was the teenage writer whose most rebellious thing in her life was the fact her bills came out a day late a few months back. This was falling in love with someone that wears leathers, rides a motorcycle and had broken the law. This was opposites attract on a whole new level. This wasn’t a fling or a single date for the cameras anymore. This was remembering the hours they had spent together in laughter and joy.   
"Cupcake. Look at me" Carmilla said suddenly feeling very aware they were in a corridor. Laura looked up at the person that was fighting for her.  
"I’m tired of proving my love is authentic,” Carmilla said before grabbed Laura’s face her hands and touching the blonde’s lips against them. Laura's lips felt safe, they were home any time any place. They made Carmilla fill warm right from the start where it was a single kiss for a camera to being alone in the hallway of a slightly doughy apartment block.   
Laura didn’t speak anymore but Carmilla couldn’t hold it in now “I want you to have or not, to hold or not. To love...or not” for the first time Carmilla spoke with shy confidence. She knew that she could write Laura 1000 love poems but it wouldn’t change a thing. Maybe this was just how it was meant to be. Laura still didn’t speak as Carmilla had said her peace and was ready to leave. She didn’t want to but she was going to walk away. With her head held high. This was she. This was her fighting for what she wanted. This was Carmilla’s final attempted at being a grown up.   
“Carmilla...” Laura said grabbing her lover’s arm as she turned away.   
“I just want me and you against the world- complications and all but…” Laura started to talk. Her words sat I Carmilla’s heart. She wanted to leave but Laura s grasp held her tightly, held her safely.  
"Why won't you just drop your guard cupcake? I know it involves trusting a girl that stole your her right off your sleeve. But, I'm not Danny. " Carmilla said  
  
To say this was going to be their last argument would be a clear lie but everything was different after that moment.


	11. Sherman Hollis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in 2 parts. Here is part 1 hope you enjoy. The next chapter is due up tomorrow :) Please comment and let me know if you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know whats gone on with the paragraphing. I don't know if its me being stupid of if its a problem with the site. Sorry anyways. please enjoy - R

To describe any relationship as anything other than complicated properly means the relationship would never work, well that’s what Laura's mother had told her all those years ago when she would read Laura peter pan to try and get her to sleep. Obviously their relationship wasn’t simple and their names didn’t help. 2 minutes at a coffee shop was sometimes too much to ask. For some moments, normally when they were alone the pair forgot who they were. They let there names and identity's escape them and they just became 2people in love, in lust. 2 happy people. Never lasted long, there was always stuff going on. Carmilla always had meetings, Laura was never really sure what Carmilla did other than pose for photos like she was unprepared for them and get way to many likes on her Instagram account, to which she didn't even know the password for. She was very much a cog in her mother chain but it helped pay the bills. Not that Laura couldn't complain or not that she would ever question it. For other moments there names stuck firmly in there memory, when they wanted to do something little like walk to the shop they checked both direction before leaving either of their apartments. Since Carmilla Laura's face had become more well known, it used to just be her name that people knew. The meaningful sometimes witty tweets that people liked but now people cared about her personal life not just her books. Something about then just seemed to work, not that Laf, Perry or Mr Hollis were convinced. One of the hardest phone called the writer has ever had to make was to her father after her and Carmilla had sorted there baggage out. Even after the whole labelling argument they still had problems but they moved through everything the best they could. Normally there ways were dysfunctional and seemed mad but to them it just worked. It had been about 6 weeks since the big argument and the return of Carmilla but Laura just couldn’t bring herself to phone her Dad. That’s a lie she had spoke to her Dad just shy of a dozen times since but just so he knew his only child was fine, but the phone conversations were short and one sided. Laura hated lying to her father and to be honest she wasn’t great at it, but good enough apparently, she just didn’t want her Dad, who she cared deeply about, to completely flip his lid. 

"Hey Laura" He said "Its Dad" He continued just reminding his daughter who he was. It was sarcastic because she hadn't phone him at all in the previous week. To say he was panicking was an understatement. Laura didn’t even want to pick up in the first place. It was early evening and Carmilla would be returning any minute with take out. It was the kind of date night the girls enjoyed. Private. Alone. With cheap red wine even though they could afford whatever they wanted, Laura had decided there was something quite homely about a bottle of wine that cost 4 dollars from a store simply called 'Local shop'. The idea of walking into a place, which was basically set up like a warehouse, made Carmilla's skin crawl . The things were still in the boxes they arrived in, with just the box at the top opened so one could retrieve the item. Carmilla was all up for hidden and unknown but that shop drew a line in her hidden privileged sand. She would deny it of course. Simply gritting her teeth and walking in with her headphones in. Getting in and out as fast as possible. Laura would expect nothing less.  

"Hey Dad" Laura replied emphasizing the word Dad. "I haven't heard from you in ages. I was just checking in" He tried his very best to sound casual, it wasn’t very convincing. 

"Its been 4 days" Laura rolled her eyes hoping her father had lost his ability to sense things like that.   
Of course he sense it. But, he didn’t say anything.  

 "How's the book coming?" Sherman Hollis asked his daughter.  

"Good. It good..." Laura said not getting to finish her sentence before she heard the apartment door go.  

"Its Carmilla and food" Carmilla said almost sounding cheerful. 

"Who was that?" Laura's Dad said sharply sown the phone before Laura even had time to process the words flying at her.  

"Laur" Carmilla said,  

"In bed" Laura should back at Carmilla without thinking. 

"Laura"  Her Dad tensed. 

Laura sat in silence, it felt like a lifetime since anyone had spoke but Sherman's words had barely finished echoing around her room. Carmilla walked into the bedroom where Laura was sat pretty much where she was when Carmilla had left. Before Carmilla had time to make some comment about wanting to at something other than the take out Laura pointed drastically to her phone, hoping it would explain enough.  

"Laura Hollis don’t ignore me!"  

"Hey, sorry.. Foods arrived got to go, love you. Bye"  

"Laura Hol..." He didn’t have time to finished before Laura ended the call.  

Most people would have lot of questions but Carmilla didn't. She wasn’t most people. She was Carmilla Karnstien.  

"Noodles" Carmilla said as she handed the person she cared about there dinner.  

They ate, laughed and kissed until Laura's phone went off...again. 

Carmilla had decided there wasn’t a bigger turn off than hearing Laura's Dad ringtone.  

"Get the fricking phone" Carmilla burst in the middle of there free-spirted conversation about country's they had never seen.  

"Laura Hollis!" Her Father spoke fiercely down the phone. Carmilla could hear the tone of Sherman's voice. Carmilla had never met Laura's father but she had spent several silent minutes in various situations with Laura listening to him. 

"You can't just hang up on me" 

"I didn’t. Food arrived"  Laura had put her father on speaker and dropped her phone on the  bed for no other reason that so she could carry on eating. 

"Laura. Who are you with" It totally wasn't a question but more of a demand. 

"Hey Mr. Hollis" Carmilla said she had eyes firmly locked onto Laura, not just her yes but they way she bowed her head and couldn't wipe the smile off her face even when Carmilla spoke very sarcastically.   

"Miss Karnstein" Were all the worlds Sherman could get out. He couldn't muster a sentence or even to say his daughters name. 

* * *

 

“Laura I’m not doing that”  Carmilla said,  she had decided it was too early for a conversation like this, for Carmilla to even agree she would need a lot of alcohol in her system. “Please , I  would do it for you” 

“I would never ask you too” Carmilla snapped 

“Its just 24 hours, its my Dad” 

“It could be the pope”  

“All I am asking is you pretend not to live here for 24 hours... and pretend that we aren’t together” Laura started the sentence confidently then it turned into a murmur as she realized what she was asking Carmilla, her girlfriend, to do. 

“You still haven’t told him?”  

“He just wasn’t your biggest fan when were just a couple show never mind...” Laura said knowing that she had just put on a puppy dog voice and that Carmilla would be changing her mind any second.  

“I wont tell him I live here, but I am not moving any of my stuff and I will make plans for the day but if  I will be sleeping in our bed , if he asked you will have to lie. Not me” Carmilla said. She wasn’t being harsh but she knew that if it all hit the fan she would be seen as the bad guy if a single lie came out of her mouth. That sounded fair to both of them but Laura wasn’t very good at lying to her father and she knew full well that Carmilla would still be here when he arrived, meaning lying would have to be involved. He was arrived at 9 am . Laura wasn’t sure she had ever seen her girlfriend awake that early since they had first met. Carmilla considered an early breakfast 10 o’clock for peat sake. 

“Thanks” Laura said leaning over the bed and kissing her girlfriend. When their lips touched Carmilla didn’t care what she had to do as along as it made Laura happy plus she knew it gave her leverage.   

“You better make it up to me” Carmilla smirked pushing Laura onto her back and lying on top of her. "What do you have in mind” Laura said in-between passionate kisses, hoping that it would end the way she now had in mind. 

“I think you know cupcake” Carmilla smirked again holding her girlfriend down kissing her time and time again with passion, fire and love.  Carmilla loved to touch Laura not just in a sexual way, but everywhere. Her face, her hands, her hair.  Laura’s warmth seeped in Carmilla’s being and would comfort her without even opening her mouth.  

Laura started to breath heavier as Carmilla was making her want her. 

“Shh” Carmilla hushed her, not in a rude way but in a sexual one, moving her finger and pressing her hand against Laura’s cheek, giving Carmilla more support to push herself more comfortably on top of Laura as their lips connected again. Carmilla’s lips were firm against Lauras but the kiss remained soft, gentle and slow. They held it for a few seconds before their lips began moving in perfect sync. 

Laura’s entire body had been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of relief, combined with eccentric excitement reacted pain and lust. Laura put her hand on the back of Carmillas head, her fingers tampering in the long, dark hair pulling Carmilla further into her adding more pressure to their connecting lips, deepening the kiss. They knew where it was heading. Until… 

“Laura! You home?!” At first the name was ignored until it really hit Laura’s ear drums and she realized who it was. Carmilla also recognized the voice and it was enough to send a shiver down her spine.  

“Frilly hell” Carmilla sighed as she rolled off Laura and faced the white ceiling.   
    
”Sweetheart” the voice said again.    
”Thought he was due tomorrow” Carmilla said as Laura sat up   
”Coming” Laura screamed from her room   
”So did I!” She then turned to Carmilla and exclaimed. Laura moved the faster than she ever had putting her hair up as she slipped on a pair of sweats and an over sized hoody.    
Laura didn’t say any more, just left Carmilla in bed staring at the ceiling not sure how to handle the situation. Laura kissed Carmilla one more time before going out and facing the world. Her father.    
”Dad!” Laura said “I thought you weren’t due till tomorrow” she said trying not to sound surprised or pissed off. She couldn’t help but stutter slightly in between words as she imagined what she could be doing if he hadn’t decided to pop in.    
”I thought I would come early. Get a extra day with my girl” Sherman Hollis replied. He didn’t do it to be horrible or to catch his daughter out. He did it because he missed her and staring at his packed bag made him wish that he was on the plane to see his daughter.   
”The doorman let me up. Lovely man. Not that tight on security” He said trying to brush over the fact he had made his way into Laura’s apartment without telling his own daughter. Carmilla just lay I’m their room, the one she shared with Laura. Neither of the girls can remember the exact time it became a shared apartment but slowly and surely Carmilla’s stuff just started appearing till one late evening Laura decided that if her girlfriend was basically living their she might as well only pay half the rent so Carmilla moved in. There was no grand romantic gesture. Looking back Laura should have probably pre-warned her Farther. Bit late now! 

  

“I hope you don’t mind me sleeping on your sofa for another day” he said looking for the tatty grey sofa they used to be their. It had now been replaced with a black leather price of future with red and grey cushions.   
”No that’s fine” Laura said a bit taken back. Of course she wasn’t going to say no to her own man what kind of inhuman person would say no to their own parent... Carmilla would, she thought to herself.    
   
”Nice sofa” he said not sounding very convincing.   
Well this is a good a time then any Laura thought to herself, trying to work out how else to get Carmilla out of their room. “Look Dad we need to talk”.  

In the bedroom Carmilla was trying to work out what to do, she wasn’t spending the next 24 hours being held hostage in her own apartment, she wasn’t doing that. She put on a pair of black jeans and a vest top, she didn’t have a plan. They had never planned for this. Laura had made them plan for a zombie attack in this cruddy apartment but not her Father turning up unannounced.  

   
Mr. Hollis just looked as his daughter hinting to her to continue.   
    
Phone Laf, that was Carmilla’s bright idea. Okay, it wasn’t the best idea but it was all she had. She found the contact on her phone named ‘Shorthaired ginger’ and assuming it was Laf she pressed the call button.   
    
“Do you remember that Carmilla girl?” Laura asked her Father figuring that would be a safe place to start.    
   
Carmilla nearly threw her phone at the mirror. Of course it would go straight to answer machine. ‘What could the ginger be doing that was more important than answering to me’ Carmilla thought to herself. She was just going to have to walk out and hope that Laura had mentioned her. The idea sounded okay but Carmilla couldn’t think of anyway in which that went well for either her or her girlfriend.    
   
”Please go tell me you spent your advance of your book bailing her out of jail?” Her Father asked. He wasn’t joking, he was being deadly serious. Laura tried her best to stay Calm. This was why she hadn’t told her Dad. It wasn’t because she was petty or just didn’t want him to know, it was simply because she knew what her father thought of the person he had never met. She knew what he would say and no amount of support could prepare her   
”No Dad” Laura replied sharply.    
”Have you guys given up on the whole on screen romance thing. I don’t blame you she was a bit...”   
”Dad!” Laura snapped, without thinking she just carried on talking “Carmilla is my girlfriend. She lives here.  We live here. She is in our bedroom, probably naked” Laura just couldn’t stop herself talking. She could have just ended at the whole girlfriend think but no she had to tell her father that the person her disliked was naked in the bed he had brought.   
Sherman Hollis couldn’t hide her anger and sadness, he wanted to scream and yell but he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t believe that his daughter could date Carmilla. The same girl that just left his daughter for weeks without warning and then came back without even an apology. Hearing his daughter on the phone when Carmilla had disappeared was edged into his mind, something about the girl in black never sunk in with Sherman. He just couldn’t bring himself to like the girl.  

“I'm going to go and shower” Laura said backing away from her Dad who now wasn’t even looking at her, he was just stood there. The color had gone from his face and Laura didn’t want to be there when it returned.  She walked backwards until she found the bathroom door, not losing her Farther from her vision till the last possible moment.  

  

Carmilla whom now had her ear up against the bedroom door had heard everything and after making sure she looked okay and sending a slightly causal but very panicked text to Laf she figured now was the best time as any to go out and face the person that wanted her dead.  When she heard the water from the shower going she figured that this was the best time as any. She was just going to leave, trying to avoid to talk. She was just going to walk out. Maybe go and see her mum? That was the only idea she had. Grab a coffee she told herself. That was the safest option. Just walk out, grabbing her wallet from the side put her leather jacket on , grab her keys and helmet and just leave. That was all she needed to do she told herself. Simple. In theory. Everything was simple in theory.  

  

She left the bedroom slowly, she expected him to be stood their waiting outside of the door but he wasn’t, he was staring out the one full-length window in the middle of the main area of the apartment.    
Carmilla walked slowly up to Laura’s Farther every inch of her being was telling her to run. Just walk away. Let Laura sort it out. It wasn’t her problem, but it kind of was. Laura’s dad knew everything but if Carmilla didn’t have a past, but if Carmilla had screwed it up the first time there wouldn’t be anything to know. They could all be making small talk around a cooked breakfast but no Laura was in the shower and her Farther was holding a can of unopened bear spray glaring out the one large window that faced out onto the busy road below. He was staring aimlessly making eye contact with every car on the road as if it was the easiest way to avoid the situation was to pretend he was driving one of the cars that passed. 

  
It took every strong loving thought in her being for the black hair seemingly soulless girl to go and stand next to him. She kept her distance just in case he grabbed her. She was ready to be punched but she needed to tell Mr. Hollis what she felt.    
Carmilla didn’t really understand Laura’s Father. Not that she really understood men as a species she only ever had Mother. Her father was never mentioned and neither her, Mattie or Will ever asked. Their Mother was always good enough. Okay, so she was never really around but they had a house and toys. She was strict but that knew their place. She wasn’t over protective not like Laura Dad. She didn’t really care as long as her image was still intact. Laura’s Father really cared about his daughter. He didn’t care that Carmilla was a girl he cared that the last person his daughter was with broke her heart in a way Sherman Hollis was scared it would never truly heal.    
    
”Mr Hollis” she said getting his attention. He looked at her, his eyes were filled with anger and pain. “Sir, I don’t want to hurt got daughter. I love her. And you don’t have to believe me and you can think that I am bad for her but sir know that I do love her. Don’t get me wrong it didn’t happen in a second, no way did I glance across the room of that steak place and fall in love , it happened over time. It happened during the hours of rainy days in her box of an apartment, this apartment,  playing connect 4 or watching doctor who on repeat even know she knows all the words. It happened when she matched every single one of my smart comments with one 100 times better. Sir, I fell in love with your daughter and I can’t change that. I will do everything I can to protect her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated”  Carmilla was looking Laura’s father dead in the eye as she spoke trying to avoid the fact he was still holding bear spray in his arms.    
”I have a past and its messy and self destructive but my future isn’t. My future involves your daughter so please try and understand that. When I met your daughter even though I barely knew her sir it was like walking into a new house blind folded yet knowing the way around.” .There were no words that left his mouth. His mind was filled with questions but he couldn’t yell at that. He wanted too. He wanted to tell Carmilla to leave his daughters apartment and never look back but he just couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He couldn’t being himself to break his daughters heart. She was happy , she was an adult now. And, Carmilla wasn’t Danny.    
”I protect the things I love, I will protect your daughter. Not that I need too, she is the bravest most caring person I know. She is who you raised her too be. You should be proud” Carmilla tried to smile sweetly, well as sweetly as she could before walking away hoping that she didn’t make her Farther anymore disappointed than he already was because that wasn’t her goal. She didn’t want to annoy him, she didn’t want to start a fight between him and Laura over her life decisions. She just wanted him to know that she wasn’t going to walk away, she wasn’t going to argue then slap the door and not look back. She was in this for all the arguments, through all the bickering about bills and food. For the first time in Carmilla’s life she was thankful to her Mother. She was thankful that The Dean made her go to that date with the ‘happy little writer’.    
   
 

“I don’t know you but I know you hurt my daughter” Sherman Hollis said while Carmilla walked away. She wanted to turn back around and snap. A year ago she would have but not now because if she did it wouldn’t hurt her, it would hurt Laura. So Carmilla walked away simply pretending she hadn’t heard her girlfriend father. That was for the best. He knew what Carmilla had done when she just left, he didn’t know that they were a couple at the time but he heard the pain in his daughter voice. Carmilla had hurt his daughter yet he just had to stand there and try not to snap. He had to listen knowing that Carmilla made his daughter happy but he wasn’t going to let his daughter get hurt, he wasn’t going to let his daughter stay with her, he just couldn’t. Carmilla had made his daughter cry, he had heard it over the phone. The pain that he didn’t think would ever go away. The pain when carmilla who he thought was just a friend went missing was worse then when she came home after Danny. After he had heard about Danny he felt like he couldn’t read people anymore. He felt like no one was good enough for his little girl anymore.  

  
Carmilla’s words stuck with Sherman Hollis long after he heard the front door slam shut, his daughter as still in the shower and he knew she would ask where Carmilla had gone when she got out. He wouldn’t have an answers. He wouldn’t have any words. He knew he didn’t have to like Carmilla, he also knew that Carmilla didn’t need to be liked. She didn’t tell him all that stuff so he would like her, she told him all that stuff so that he could love his daughter and so that he knew his little girl was safe even when he wasn’t around.    
   
He knew that Carmilla had hurt his daughter, but he also knew that his daughter was everything the women in leather had said. He knew his daughter, she wasn’t a child. And, this wasn’t Danny. Carmilla didn’t come home every night and yell. She came home with take away and crappy films that she would hate but knew Laura would loved. He didn’t want Carmilla anywhere near his daughter but he knew he didn’t really have say. Not if he still wanted his daughter to come home for the holidays and share things about her life. 


	12. No longer her ICE contact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Shermans arrival. Please enjoy!

Laura didn't know where Carmilla was when she came out the shower hut she didn't expect her to be around. Her father has that effect on people. Everything hr did he did with love and from a good place but sometimes just sometimes he got it wrong. This time , with Carmilla he couldn't have been more wrong. Okay, so she wasn't the got her future together type but Laura hadn't smiled like she smiled around Carmilla in a long time. The laughs they shared that was the magic. It wasn't just the sex , the sex was good but when Laura was around Carmilla it was something else. Carmilla was the hidden smile and the almost harsh conversation they had with each other. The love with Carmilla was one where half the time Laura wanted to kill her but it wasn't toxic. Not this one, her and Carmilla was complicated and didn't start easy but they just worked. They ways had it just took them six months to figure that out.

Mr Hollis turned to face his daughter, he hadn't move since Carmilla left, he didn't know what to say to his daughter or what to say at all. He only came down to new york to see his daughter, he didn't come down too see his daughter all grown up and adult like. This wasn't what he wanted to see. This wasn't the same Laura that he remembered last christmas when Carmilla was barely a name, she was just a photo in the magazines and the occasional subtweet. The girl that stood before him wasn't a girl anymore, maybe he just didn't want to except that? When Laura was with Danny, danny felt like the protector that Sherman Hollis had always wanted for his daughter , while he felt Carmella like would let his daughter fight if she wanted to but would have her back if his daughter wanted to run a million miles in the other direction. Did that make Carmilla a good man? He wasn't sure.

 

“Just let me get changed before you start shouting” Laura said not letting her Dad speak. During the shower she had decided that she was an adult, she paid her bills. Her taxes. And, she was happy that was important. That’s what her father had always said was important.

Her father simply nodded and went and sat down at the table.

“She hurt you sweetheart” Her father pracitally pleaded as they now sat face to face over the dining room table. Lauras hair was still wet but was now dry enough she didn’t have to sut in a towel, which would have made her next statement invalid. She had found herself in one of Carmillas retro looking metal band sweaters of a band Laura had never listen too before and a pair of leggings.

“Im an adult Dad” Laura replied reall hoping that Carmilla was okay and that she didn’t decided to go on some road rage or bar fight to tame her anger. She had no idea what ahd gone on while she was in the shower but she highly doubted it was a joyful conversation but on a plus the lid was still on the bear spray.

“You’re my baby girl” Her Dad said. Laura couldn’t help but feel like all her fathers arguments were based on him not wanting his only child to grow up.

“Im 24” Laura replied. She didn’t mean to be so blunt but she was jut tired of having the same conversations with her Dad.

“Do you remember what I said when you told me you were a lesbian?” Her father asked. Laura tried not to toll her eyes. She felt like her dad was just trying to change the subject.

“Thank god you finally said it: Laura replied triyng her best to go along with where ever this conversation was going.

 

She couldn’t help but smile when she tought back to that horrible awkard conversation that had taken place between her and her Father. She was 17 and it had been beating her up inside for months, so one night after an Indian take away Laura told him, she was prepared for one question ‘How fast can you get the hell out of my house?” but he just smiled at his daughter while Laura sat their crying like a toddler who had been told they couldn’t have an ice cream at the beach.

 

“Other than that?” her dad asked her smiling back at his daughter. He could tell his daughter was still considered about the whole situation that had taken place this morning but he was just glad to see her smile.

“Find a girl that deserves you” Laura said bowing her head as she started to understand where he was going at this conversation. It was going to be a huge dig at Carmilla. Great, she thought to herself

“yes! That! That!” Her father burst jumping up out of his seat into the middle of the room. “ And this may be shocking to you but a moterbike riding criminal is not what I had in mind!” He spoke with passion and love but Laura couldn’t help but imagine Carmillas reaction to being called a criminal. Carmilla always arguged that yes she had been arrested but other than fines and warning she had never been charged so officalled she wasn’t a criminal. Not that Laura was going to argue that point right now.

“I know Dad but its not like that” Laura replied turing herself once again to face her father.

“It is like that though” He said barely letting her daughter finish her sentence.

“She makes me happy. We live a life that you may not like but I am pretty proud of.” Laura said quite proud of what she had managed to come up with considered she wasn’t prepared for this conversation.

“Cookies make you happy” Her Dad replied, completely ignoring the second part of the sentence.

 

“Dad. I love her” The words left her mouth before she could really even think about them. Sherman Hollis had heard Carmilla say she loved his daughtr but hearing his daughter say it changed something. He oculdnt explain the love he had for his daughter but he knew he for his daughter to truly love someone, expesically after Danny, that Carmilla must be pretty special. And that Laura must see something in the girl that he simply couldn’t. He knew his daughter heald his heart on her sleeve but since Danny it was padlocked and superglued onto her sleave. Not just placed there to rest.

“You love her?” Her Dad asked sitting back down and looking his daughter in the eyes.

“More than Perrys brownies or cocoa” His daughter replied. Before that conversation Laura had never really had to discribe her love for the person she lived with. She simply just knew that her love for Carmilla exsisted , it was real and it was valid. It was painful at times, some days it made her whole world blurred yet it made everything so much clearer.

 

“Does she love you?” He asked. After his ‘talk’ with the girlfriend he already knew the awnser,

“Yes Dad” Laura replied pretty confidently. Laura knew Carmilla loved her but it was a strange feeling to have to ditate it to her Father.

Sherman Hollis sighed, he knew his daughter was happy yet he just wasn’t. something about it all he didn’t like.

“And I know she hurt me but I have hurt her, I mean half my book is totally not based on her and I didn’t even let her read it before I sent it off. We bicker and half the time I could kill her but it’s the purest love I have ever felt.”

“But…”Her father butted in kind of hoping his daughter would cut to the chase.

“Its dysfunctional but I know that Calm would never intentional hurt me. She does things that I don’t understand but everything she does for me she does out of love. I know that for certain”

“I just hate the fact you are growing up. It felt like only yesterday you started that kindergarten up rising” the truth was as much as he was scard for his daughter, the thing that scared him the most was the fact he was no longer the only person his daughter loved. He was no longer the person that his daughter came too in a time off need. He wasn’t his daughter ICE contact anymore, that’s what scared him. He was terrified that his daughter didn’t need him anymore.

 

Carmilla didn't return home that evening. Laura wasn't sure why she expect her. Laura was the bad guy. Laura knew she couldn't blame anyone else yet she wanted too she wanted to blame Carmilla but she didn't know what for. She wanted it too be anyone else fault but hers because Laura fell in love. And, the writer whos stories change live didn't have the heart to tell her own Father her love story. The women had just received front over ideas for her book yet she couldn’t find the words to share her own story. She couldn't find the words to describe her love, her lust and her romance. Her and her father spent most the day in silence, making small talk . There were so many storie she wanted to share with her old man like about the time when the snow got really bad and the power went out so they dance around their living room to the beat of their own hearts. No music. No words. If that was Danny she would have told him, if she was still with Danny he would have loved to know but Laura wasn't with Danny anymore. Laura wasn't that girl anymore it had been 2 years yet she still felt like her father was holding onto Danny even after he knew how Danny treated his daughter yet he was still wanting Danny to arrive at the apartment one day.

Laura gave up trying to contact Carmilla while her father was staying in their place, she knew that Carmilla knew when he was leaving and would come home when she wanted to, Laura didn't want to know where her girlfriend went for the days but Laura trusted her, and she needed trust when she had hurt the person she cared about. 

 

 


	14. I asked my partner why people read my books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another time jump, hope you enjoy. I have a couple of chapters planned but I'm not sure please feel free to give me ideas and/or feedback in the comments

"When I was asked to give this class I asked my partner why people read my books" Laura started the speech and did a quick eye flick to Carmilla who was sat silently at the back of the room ' they simply replied  the hot blonde on the back of the cover" The class laughed a little , not sure if Laura was joking or not, She wasn't. Laura smiled as she decided that this couldn't be too bad. "Realizing I couldn't write a talk based off that I  phoned my Dad; I explained to him about what was going on today and then asked him why People buy my books and he simply replied they make people feel, as well as reminding me to bring bear spray with me today." Laura wasn't joking but the class chuckled to themselves as she continued "It took me a while to figure out what he meant but the truth is to be a good writer you to need feel things and have felt something in the past. I have felt loss and heartbreak. I have felt anger stronger than words and pain more painful that tears could explain. My feelings are scarred on every page of my books; that's why people like to read because they like to feel. I spent my days wondering about opinion's like they mattered even though growing up everyone kept telling me they don't. But in the real world they do. I am 24 years old and I have felt loss and lust, heart break and healing. It comes with time and it comes with passion. I was moulded here at Salis University but I was made in the real world. No offence Salis

 

So here I am, because apparently in successful. I am Laura Hollis.I am a writer. I have had 2 best sellers and my next one comes out in 2 weeks." There was a round of applause from the crowd which made the never nervous girl smile " Before coming here when I was 19 I had spent my life being wrapped in bubble wrap before I could leave the house. I am not kidding my Father would literally wrap me up to stop me getting hurt. I always had a opinion for example I started a kindergarten uprising before I even knew what one was , that's why I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to be a journalist to telling hard hitting stories like my kindergarten uprising" Laura was beginning to get the flow of conversation, it wasn't too much different when she used to do the video diarys. "Bringing things to the people that wanted to know. I did video blogs every week here where I would talk about stories that the newspaper here was too scared publish. Yet slowly the words I would want to say to the people that watched, to my classmates became more metaphors and hidden meanings. I told stories and when I put my pen to paper I changed lives, or so I was told by Mr Franklin. I don't know when it hit me that wasn't going to be a journalist that I was going to be a writer. I spent hours writing things down calling them unpublished chapters or a book that will never finish. Then for some reason with a strange gut feeling I sent it off to an independent publisher ,where they Chewed it up, spat it back out and told me I had 3 weeks to fix it. That was a buzz I had never had before. Going out and getting wasted wasn't my thing. I liked drinking but I blogged and blogged and ranted about life I posted them on the Ethernet and while it didn't always go down too well; it gave me the confidence. It gave me the confidence to change things in 3 weeks. I mean I had spent so much of my university life wrapped in drama and gossip that I was the master of writing things over night. My English lit midterm took me 2 hours in the early hours of the morning for example... Okay so I didn't do great but still " Laura paused as the class in front of her laughed a little. She was growing in confidence with every word. Laura carried on with stories and quotes she had been told that changed her, she forgot what it was like to talk to people. She decided that even after all the nerves and her nearly sleepless night preparing for this she quite enjoyed it. It felt like the class didn't mind it either, they were either laughing with her or at her but either way she didn't mind. Carmilla sat quietly at the back falling more and more in love as she saw a side of Laura she hadn't seen before. Laura even touched on being an LGBT writer and what that had done to her career, she briefly touched on Carmilla but not by name laura simply stated that "When I wrote my first book, I was young and I was not in the same place as I am when I wrote the one due out soon. I was still very much scared of myself and who I was but now I am more comfortable than I ever had been, I am with someone that makes me very happy and much like songwriters that does affect what you write" Carmilla smiled when Laura said she was the happiest she had ever been, she wasn't sure why that made her so happy yet it made the girl who was yes in leathers smile almost uncontrollably.

After the class finished people came up and asked questions while others milled around just to talk and some ran to the next class. Laura answered everything from "What motivates you to write?" to which she replied, "I enjoy it. I enjoy writing and ranting on paper. I also like the life I get to live because of it" Her answers we short and sweet enough answering questions one to one made her heart face. This wasn't like when she was video blogging. To a question asked by a young lad who kind of reminded Laura of Kirch "What did you do with your first advance?" to which laura replied "My first advance barely paid my bills". The young guy laughed not knowing that Laura was being really serious.

 

"You did great" Carmilla said as everyone moved away from her writer girlfriend and began to leave

"Okay" Laura replied, it wasn't that she didn't enjoy it she just wasn't sure she really said  anything of importance. She just waffled and ranted a little, but then again that's all she ever did.

carmilla Hugged her girlfriend holding her for probably a big longer than a normal hug.

"Ready to get out of her cupcake?"  Carmilla asked, really hoping that Laura didn't want to show her around her old life

"Oh yes" Laura said laughing , a couple of hours was enough back in her past. Laura could see why people taught but she could also see why so many people didn't last long in the job.

 

Laura thought giving that speech was hard. That's when Laura saw, her Carmilla her lover's whole body tense and that's when Carmilla laid eye on the women that Laura used to love, that's when they both saw the smiling face of the person that broke Laura's heart. Laura didn't say anything but she didn't need too. Carmilla and her had spent so long together words meant nothing in moments like this, right then Carmilla was filled with anger and Laura with pain.

"It's fine cupcake" Carmilla whispered. If she knew the way around this campus she would have lead Laura in any other direction but she didn't, so she just slowed down their pace in the hope that Danny would walk fast in the other way. If Danny saw Laura she didn't say anything as they walked out Laura thought she was safe. With danny's back turned they walked past fast, Carmilla's arm wrapped around her girlfriends for support. Carmilla was glad she came to this student speech talk thing, while she dnt enjoy it. She was glad that she finally got to put a human person to the person that was on the top of her hit list. She was glad she came to keep Laura okay. It was in that moment in that university corridor that Carmilla truly realized how much her girlfriend meant to her, it was in that moment Laura realized how much pain Danny still brought her. There was no love there anymore, just regret and pain. As they walked past Laura couldn't believe that Danny made her feel like this still, Laura thought Danny had gone out of her mind but no she was just tucked away in her mind until she decided to pop out and say hi.

Laura nearly laughed out loud as she thought to herself how funny it was that she used to think about the ginger women every minute of every day how just for a moment before Carmilla she didn't think she would ever truly move on. How she assumed that even though they would have never worked that Danny was the only person for her. She truly believed that she never find someone better, that Danny was all Laura deserved. But passing her she didn't feel that anymore when she looked at her. She didn't know what to think , her heart felt heavy and in pain but that was anger and rage, that was her trying not to run up to the bitch and slap her. It was the same feeling that Carmilla had. Looking subtly at the girl Laura realized they were never really meant to be in love with each other, they were just thrown together by these small corridors and an English lit paper.

 

"I will be 2 minutes" Carmilla said, it was quite a trek for them to get home and she needed to go to the toilet. She hadn't been in case Laura needed her but they were about to leave and she had to go simple ass.

Laura smiled sweetly and nodded point Carmilla in the direction, it was strange how Laura still remembered this place like the back of her hand even after all this time. Even after all these years and all the heartbreak she could remember every classroom, she could tell you how to get the dog light switch to work in H11 or why the blinds got stuck in the winter. Standing in the hallways it felt like she never left. She stared at her phone trying to look busy. She had a long drive back and was hoping they had time to fit in a coffee stop on route back to their apartment. She was midway through texting Laf telling her how strange it was being back. when...

"Hey" The voice cut through Laura like a thousand knifes, a thousand memories that had been hidden came rushing back taking the colour out of her face and replacing it with fear. Laura looked up from her phone just confirming who it was. She didn't say anything, she didn't want too. She couldn't. Her breathing sped up as her body filled with adrenaline.

"I heard you were guest speaking here today" The voice continued now cutting into Laura's vital organs. As the ginger got closer Laura could smell that god alfew cologne that Danny wore, it smelt like sweat and coconut. Laura had forgot about it until it hit her nose then it all came rushing back. Danny would wear it everywhere, buying it in bulk from a company that Laura had never heard off. It was the only thing danny would wear, Laura was never sure how she put up with it just the smell in that moment made her want to gag.

 

When they first broke up Danny half hoped that they would bump into each other again, maybe in 10 years time and they would be able to look at each other in the eye and have a conversation. Maybe fall back in love... Maybe remind Laura of what she was missing.... Dannys mind wondered as she waited for Laura to reply.

"Hollis" Danny said. Laura shuddered as Danny said her surname, her voice was getting tense and wasn't filled with love. Not that Laura was sure it ever was.

"Yes I spoke in a journalism lecture" Laura replied speaking more confidently than she felt, she spoke like she didn't care. Like seeing Danny didn't want to make her kiss Carmilla and remind herself of how lucky she was. Of her upgrade.

"Yes so I heard" Danny replied "So how have you been?"Danny asked trying to cling onto the conversation.

"Um yeah I have been good, living in the city. Writing still. Got a new book out soon" Laura said , the words were flowing easier now the more she spoke, the more Laura realized it didn't hurt her to talk. She didn't care what Danny wanted because Danny wasn't Carmilla, danny wasn't the person she loved. Not anymore, not again. Laura released then that Carmilla wasn't a

"I made the olympic team , I just teach her sometimes. I really enjoy giving back" Danny replied proudly. 'hurry up Carm' Laura thought not really listening to what her ex was saying. "We should totally grab a coffee or something" Danny said stepping closer to Laura and placing her hand on Laura's arm, Laura tried to move away but she forgot how tight Danny's grip should be.

"I would step away zeta!" Carmilla snapped as she walked up to her girlfriend.

"I didn't even think that criminals were allowed on campus" Danny smirked at Carmilla. Danny didn't care what Carmilla was, she wanted Laura back. She didn't realize how much she missed the little blonde writer until she came face to face with her in the place they fell in love. Danny pulled her hand away from Lauras arm and Laura moved away.

"Calm" Laura said now looking completely at her very angry girlfriend. This was the situation that neither of them wanted, but no situation would ever be good with Danny involved.

"Okay" Carmilla replied, while laura said very little her eyes made the whole situation very clear. Before Carmilla had even formed another sentence Laura had planted her lips onto her girlfriends, its wasn't the most passionate kiss they had ever shared but Carmilla knew it was for a purpose and she was completely fine with that. It got to piss off Danny, it was more than Carmilla could ever ask for. Plus it calmed her down, she took in Laura's breath with her own and she felt freer.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a filler chapter after so long

"Nope, not doing it!" Carm burst. She was on the phone with her Mom management and that must had been the 10th time Laura has heard those exact words burst out her girlfriend mouth from the bedroom.  
"I don't care, you really think moneys the problems. I have a bank balance larger than your annual salary" Carmilla was getting frustrated. In fact she was past frustrated. Laura didn't need to ask what it was about she knew. She knew it was to do with her mother's TV show, arguments always used to be to do with money and press conferences but ever since her mother had gone all kardashian and opened her mansion doors to camera to record 'an united edited scoop into the world of THE DEAN'. Or something to that effect- Well that’s what the advert stated. Carmilla had seen the first one rather reluctantly with Laura and had decided within the title screen it was the most edited thing she had ever watched. She had seen stick figures more realistic than her mother in the TV. Okay, her mother was still the bluntest person even after being edited and she didn't come off the nicest person but the newspaper had described her as almost relatable. Carmilla had only watched small scenes that had appeared on her social media but all the clips did was prove to the rest of the world that 'the dean' wasn’t a character but was just her plain bitchy personality.  
"I am not appearing to your house just to add diversity to your stupid show" Carmilla said, Laura wasn’t sure why Carmilla hadn’t just hung up yet. She could only hear one part of the conversation but still. The dean had never been hard to guess what she was saying.  
"Go on then" was the final words that left the black haired girls mouth before she went back into her the room where her girlfriend sat. What a way to start a Sunday morning!

"Carm, it can’t be that bad. I mean I don’t like the women but she has done a lot for you"  
"She just wants us to go o show she’s open and accepting" Carmilla replied, she sounded defeated. Deep down they both knew where they would be spending the afternoon. Laura’s phone started vibrating on the bedside table. She wasn’t expecting any phone calls and her Dad would never call her midway though the day, he was fishing with his new 'friend' Maggie.

"Hello" Laura said picking it up not 100% sure why SJ was phoning her at 11am on a Sunday. Its Sunday Carmilla mouthed to her girlfriend. Laura’s book was to be realized on the Friday that followed, then she had book tours and signing she was already appearing on various TV and radio shows every day this week and was pretty much working none stop the week previous. Carmilla just wanted a day with her girlfriend but it seemed to be slipping and slipping further and further away from a reality.  
"What?" Laura said sitting up probably from the bed she shared with her girlfriend.  
"Okay, so 2.30?" Laura said rolling her eyes.  
"And you" Laura said before flipping her phone down and staring unimpressed at her girlfriend.  
"Your Mom is inviting us all over for dinner. 2.30 today" Laura didn't look to impressed but ever so slightly on board for the free food and the lack of washing up that she would have to do.  
"Fucking fantastic cupcake" Carmilla said before leaning in and kissing the person she loved.

 

* * *

 

"How do I look?" Laura asked, she was wearing her green trousers with a black vest and printed blazer jacket. Her makeup was done in a way the writer was 100% sure she would never be able to repeat and her hair was a mess version of the neat plate that was created for her press talk the day previous.  
"Like a virgin sacrifice" Her girlfriend smirked.  
"Now we both know that’s not a true statement" Laura said sitting on top of her girlfriend who was chilling watching some crap on the TV.  
"Don’t make me not want to go anymore then I already don’t" Carmillla smirked in between kissing the person she loved.

 Laura smiled, knowing full well that her girlfriend was about to seduce her. Even before she touched she felt her girlfriends hands and her lungs expanded with briny air. Carmilla's voice had the lilt she knew so well - the broody girls words soft with the smile that already played on her face. With the kiss came electric tingles, the desire to play.  
"We really need to go"  
"I really need something else" Carmilla said before heading down the neck of her girlfriend, letting her lips smoothly touch the person she loved.  
Laura couldn’t help but let her breath get heavier.  
"We need to go Carm" Laura just about got out very convincingly, knowing full well she got herself into this situation in the first place.  
"Fine but you owe me,” Carmilla said before realizing Laura from her grip and letting her person she loved stand up.  
Laura couldn’t help but smirk.  
"Your bike or my car?" Laura asked knowing full well Carmilla wouldn't show up to her Moms in the 'bumble bee' s her car had know been known by the media but also knowing that Carmilla would want to drink.  
"Bumble bee and booze or bike and awkward one glass limit?" Carmilla said out loud while staring of the figure that she had just let go off.  
"I will get my keys" Laura said handing her girlfriend the black jacket that was on the side.

They left the house to camera people that crowded the grotty little place they called home.  
"We need to move cupcake,” Camilla whispered in Laura’s ear.  
"Never" Laura said back, causing Camilla to smile a little.   
They looked well dressed but even the best, most confident looking outfit couldn’t change how nervous the pair were, nervous for different reasons. But nervous all the same. Laura was nervous because it was an awkward meal with her partners Mother that would make most girlfriends nervous. Who it wasn’t didn’t really bother her; it was more concerning that it was being filmed. Carmilla on the other hand was nervous because it was her Mother, it was the dean. The pair get along in the same way a manager gets along with there employees, the awkward smile and even more awkward small talk. It was like going to a progress meeting for a job, only it was being filmed and Carmilla was already the villain.

 

 

* * *

 

“Breath Carm” Laura said as pulled up onto the long drive way that lead to the childhood home of the person she loved.  
“I am breathing cupcake” Carmilla snapped, she didn’t want to be here, she didn’t want to make small talk with her mother. She didn’t want to show the world that her Mother was inclusive when until Laura came along the word Gay wasn’t mentioned, Carmilla was just a fuck up. But Laura made her ‘approachable’ ‘friendly’. Not a criminal was all Carmilla heard when her mother made her usually comments.  
“Well here goes nothing” Laura said ignoring her girlfriend’s snappiness; she knew it didn’t come from a bad place. Well… she hoped.


End file.
